Great news, everyone: my latest purchase of dollhouse furniture and accessories is on the way from the finest purveyor of dollhouse goods, Minimum World. Like the size of the items they offer for purchase, the amount of effort put into their company name is small. Did I order a set of tiny ice cubes that were on sale for FORTY FOUR CENTS? Yes. Will the ice cubes soothe my soul? Unknown!

After 20 years at the research emporium, this summer it was determined that I was no longer needed. I wasn’t part of those discussions, and just came in on the tail end to hear the news. Kind of like watching the end of the episode of Dateline to see the verdict without hearing any of the evidence. Shock, yes, but surprise, no. Things had deteriorated in terms of norms and standards–not unlike what’s happening in the government–and to be honest, it was very tiring being one of the only ones trying to keep the ship steady, especially because what do I know about sailing? Nothing!

Anyway, that has made for an interesting bump in the road. Things are now fine and I have gainful employment in an industry about which I know very little. They knew I didn’t know anything when they hired me, so it’s basically their fault that I’m dumb. I also have a part-time job that I absolutely L O V E and I do some freelance stuff, too.

It has surprised me how okay I am with all the chaos and changes. I have to credit my internal voice, which does this cool thing when someone criticizes me or something bad happens: it says, internally and silently, of course: “Nuh-uh. That’s dumb.” My internal voice basically has the vocabulary of a first grader, but it’s effective. I recommend having a lil bestie in your head that thinks everyone but you is an idiot!

Here’s how it works:

Person: You suck and are terrible.
Internal Bestie: Pfffft. That’s dumb!
Me (bolstered by Internal Bestie): Ok.
Person: Seriously awful. I’ve never seen anything like it. Pee-yoo, etc.
Internal Bestie: This person is the worst person in America. It’s actually a compliment that they don’t like you.
Me: Ok, thanks. Bye.

Self-reflection comes later, but in the moment, this is extremely helpful.

Did you like how I started with the dollhouse furniture and then told you about my radical life change moment?

I said “radical life change,” but you know what? I changed jobs. That’s all. People do it all the time. The fact that I wasn’t consulted about it was lame, of course, but I lived. Cue “Gooch’s Song” from Mame: I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiived!

I had a dream last night that I was in a public bathroom at an event and not only did this large warehouse looking stall have two toilets in it, but there were piles and piles of poop stacked all around. Then I looked closer and it was just stacks of potatoes. Oh, silly sleeping brain!

About this time last year, I had a freakout and changed the status of every single post on this website to private. Man, what a dumb idea! Now they’re all here somewhere, but restoring them is going to be a pain. The world will probably get by without knowing what I ate for breakfast in 2006, but how will I?