Things Running Through My Head, Wednesday Edition. | Home | The Oh Nothing.

3 Aug 2010

Two Recent Conversations.

Written by sally @ 4:31 pm — Section: sally

I.
Me: Oh, gross. Spike has a giant booger. Can you get me a paper towel?
Larry: (hands me a cloth napkin)
Me: Ew, no. I don’t want to have to wash a booger.
Larry: You wash stuff with boogers on it all the time.
Me: Yeah, but not active boogers.

II.
Mix has just explained how on her one train ride, she was told where to sit, which was next to one very large woman and across the aisle from the two large women the first large woman was traveling with.

Mix: They were SO ANGRY that I was sitting there, but I couldn’t help it! The conductor guy told me to sit there!
Larry: They were probably imagining you with paper shoes on your feet.
Mix: (Polite laughter) Ha ha ha (looks at me like what the faaaaack is he talking about?).
Larry: And with, like, smelly steam coming off your head.
(Pause)
(Pause)
Mix: OH, LIKE THEY WANTED TO EAT ME! LIKE A CARTOON!
Me: (cannot breathe from laughing) (sits on coffee table to keep from wetting pants)

This continued to crack me up for several days. Mix laughing when she didn’t understand Larry, his bizarrely vague descriptions of a cartoon person trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey in someone’s imagination…it’s up there with the time I read this over and over, becoming more and more hysterical with laughter with each read.

One Response to “Two Recent Conversations.”

  1. Mix said:

    Because if you’re not thinking about a turkey, paper shoes and smelly head steam just don’t make sense! Oh Larry. Larry larry larry. My mascara’s running now. I need to use waterproof.