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15 Jul 2021

Things You Can Do if You’re Weird.

Written by sally @ 11:13 am — Section: sally

While making the fancy potato casserole for New Year’s Eve dinner at your boyfriend’s house, find a potato that kind of has an extra potato lump attached to it, like a potato head.
Declare that it looks like a bird.
Declare it is a Good Luck Potato Bird.
Put the potato in your bag to take home.
When you get home, put Good Luck Potato Bird in your kitchen windowsill.
Find a feather on the floor that your cats have pulled out of a Christmas ornament and glue it to the potato.
Glue a googly eye on the potato.
Glue a tiny hat on the potato.
Make a beak out of toothpicks.
Text a picture of Good Luck Potato Bird to your boyfriend.
Continue to enjoy Good Luck Potato Bird on a daily basis.
Time passes.
Months go by.
Good Luck Potato Bird starts to get a little deflated.
His beak now opens in alarm.
More months pass.
It is now June.
Good Luck Potato Bird is not doing so hot.
He kind of smells and might be leaking a little.
He has left a mark on the windowsill.
You move him outside to the night blooming cereus plant.
This is a mistake.
It is humid here and nature has descended upon him and not in a good way if you catch my drift.
It is time to dispose of Good Luck Potato Bird.
You should just throw him away.
But the thing is, you are almost 48 years old, and you find that you cannot throw away a potato because you glued an eye on it and looked at it every day and now you are attached to it.
So you dig a little hole.
Yes.
You bury Good Luck Potato Bird.
Goodbye, Good Luck Potato Bird!

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