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17 Jun 2011

Ten Things! I’m Rusty at This.

Written by sally @ 2:07 pm — Section: sally

1. I read Olive Kitteridge last weekend. Do you enjoy saddish stories held together by a brash, bossy lady? If so, you’ll love this book. That description doesn’t adequately tell you how much I enjoyed it, or how I wanted to underline every other sentence and then print them out and tape them to my office walls, only we are not allowed to use tape on the walls at work, but that is beside the point. The point is this: Olive + me = several ohmygodthat’smylife! moments.

2. If you want to know how it is to live in Jackson, Mississippi, here it is: the new Woody Allen movie is playing at one theater, once a day. At 1:00. The last Woody Allen movie (THE MOST HORRIBLE MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN) played at the planetarium at midnight. That about sums it up. We’ll give you access to some stuff, but only under our bizarre regulations.

3. The other day my coworker became obsessed with the memory of the McDonald’s fried pie — the old school fried pie, not the new baked pie. She read that the only McD’s to still have fried pies were the ones located in Wal-Marts or malls because of the equipment blah blah et cetera. So after I heard her typing in her office for awhile, I then heard her pick up the phone, dial, and ask someone, “Do you have any of those old fried pies from the 80s?” which made me laugh, as I imagined a giant storage container full of rotten, rancid, 20+ year old pies. The McDonald’s worker apparently thought so too because he said, “FROM THE 80S???” before she clarified, “Mister, are your pies fried or baked?” Maybe this story is only funny to me. I laughed aloud.

4. This afternoon as I was driving back to work from lunch there was a truck in front of me with many bumper stickers. They all had the word “liberal” in them but they were also all anti-liberal stickers. I thought this was an interesting way to go about professing your beliefs. Don’t promote the thing you like; promote the thing you hate. One was “Annoy a Liberal: Work Hard, Succeed, Be Happy.” This sticker doesn’t offend me, but it did make me wonder about what it is he thinks he’s against. Then I tried to think about what the accompanying Annoy a Conservative sticker would say, but then I thought that the very act of boiling something down to bumper sticker level AND incorrectly for humor’s sake was kind of hard, and then “You Sexy Thing” (by Hot Chocolate) came on the radio, and then I forgot about it.

5. God this is interesting

6. He may eat too many popsicles and wake me up by jumping onto my head, but my little child knows all the words to “Blackbird.” I’m teaching him “Norwegian Wood” now.

7. You will be disappointed to learn that I wussed out and did not mail the Sarah Vowell book to my dad.

8. I swear to God this is what everyone in high school looked like.

9. I’m not going to my high school reunion after all. I know. I’m missing out on many potentially awesome encounters with weirdos. There’s a work event the same weekend, and blah blah et cetera, anyway, I’m not going. Part of it is that I already know which jokers weigh 400 pounds and which ones married each other (SO MANY; IT’S WEIRD) and which ones still live in Garland (again, SO MANY). It really boils down to me wanting to see three people, all of whom I could just go have dinner with the next time I’m home. The only pang is that I will not see my very first little boyfriend from 10th grade, who has ONE photo on Facebook and never updates. But I’m relying on the magic of Facebook to rectify this and that everyone who does go will take 80 million photos and post them. My best friend from high school and I have decided to make a phone date to discuss the photos in detail, which is what we used to do when one of us would get a roll of film developed: get two sets made, then stay on the phone for 3 hours and discuss every individual dandruff* in each photo.

10. *I will give you a dollar if you can tell me what movie that’s from. Don’t cheat, Googlers.

One Response to “Ten Things! I’m Rusty at This.”

  1. bulb said:

    Your Utah Girls picture is giving me faint odor flashbacks of my Mom’s weird 70s era Aqua Net aerosol hairspray! At least Jackson gets the Woodie movies which is more than the ‘vegas can say recently. I too am probably skipping my high school reunion (the 30th). It’s in Tally in October and I will have been home in late September the weekend of the Oklahoma versus FSU football game. We do have our priorities, however skewed they might seem.