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8 Dec 2004

Supreme Court Material.

Written by sally @ 11:05 am — Section: sally

Our friend La Cat has recently moved to Phoenix, where she hates her job. While she is miserable, her emails are fucking hilarious.

If I can make it through a year doing THIS job, then I swear, I could literally go to D.C. and demand appointment to the Supreme Court as I would be totally prepared for the job. However, what I did on Friday night is not Supreme Court material. Friday night I walked with Mark (gay best friend) to “Portlands” (cute restaurant on our block) for happy hour. Well, happy hour turned into 2-1/2 bottles of chardonnay with NO FOOD. Then we went back to Mark’s apartment for Bud Lights and to sing the ENTIRE Madonna Immaculate Collection. (Mark only owns Madonna and Cher CDs plus has seen every Madonna tour in the past ten years including the most recent TWICE.) I didn’t sing, but shouted the lyrics to every song so loud that I actually had a scratchy sore throat the next morning.

After the last Madonna song was sung, I stumbled out of Mark’s at a mere 8:30 pm to walk home, only to fall backwards into the shrubbery as I was about to cross the street from Mark’s building to mine. We’re talking falling backward, flat on my ass, with both legs up in the air. I managed (how, I don’t know) to crawl out of the bushes only to find several people on the corner waiting for the walk signal STARING AT ME in horror. I just got up and walked/stumbled right by them, pretending it didn’t happen. Went home and passed out by 9:00 p.m.

6 Responses to “Supreme Court Material.”

  1. gorjus said:

    Shoot, this ain’t even par for La Cat course! I remember being at a particularly rowdy party–the one we drank the bottle of Ballatore on the way to, and smashed it on the Baptist sign–and she went to the bathroom for a bit.

    Well, she sort of disappeared, and it wasn’t that big a house. Finally here comes La Cat–with blood running down her face. “What, what’s the matter?”

    Apparently she had passed out and smacked her face on the sink. We were absolutely horrified; she was nonplussed, because it’s just all in a day for her.

  2. La Cat said:

    Ah yes, gorgus….I remember that night well. That accident meant I had to go home for the holidays not only with a gaping head wound, but also with a black eye. In every Christmas photo, there I am, sporting my drunk induced black eye. Did I get in a fight, the family asked? No, I passed out and fell off the toilet.

  3. jp! said:

    they must have really tall toilets at that house!

  4. vendela said:

    ooh, la cat, tell abotu the “monsoon,” ya raging dumbarse from mississippi!

  5. xyz said:

    you know, I kinda feel like in need to address my g-friend’s binge drinking problem, but it goes so perfectly with my own…i “tried” to call la
    chat LATE the other night around 1am after an “i think i’m still
    in college” bender w/ a few young agent jones unmentionables…..i woke up three hours later (4 am) in my recliner with the phone off the hook and an overturned budweiser in my lap….vive la romance!!!!

  6. bulb said:

    So La Cat have you been jumpin’ on any car hoods with iron Mike?