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19 Jun 2007

Two and a Half Nuggets.

Written by sally @ 12:38 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Sloths! Cats! Laugh track!

• Hello there! I am back from my vacation of sorts. Last weekend Larry went to DC to visit his brother and I went…nowhere. To the couch. From the bed. I did manage to make it to the movies once, but for the most part I slothed it up old school for several days. That’s not entirely true: I also cleaned out my spice cabinet. You know that expression, when the cat is away, the mouse will play? Totally not true in my case. When the cat is away, the mouse will eat pizza rolls and eat tubs of ice cream while watching Celebrity Fit Club and will undertake several organizational projects as well. And will then take a nap. And make a key lime pie.

• [Beginning of cat talk]

One exciting thing that is happening at our home right now is that Elsie is hanging out inside. I know, you people with multiple cats are rolling your eyes, it’s not that big a deal to add another cat to your household. You people do not know Pete. Pete is a wild man, a savage beast, a veritable demon whose only saving grace is that he is also extremely charming amd affectionate (when he’s not plotting your death). I put off taking Elsie to the vet and getting her shot up and de-flea-ed because I dreaded upsetting o he, the dark one, the master of the house. Since going to the vet last week, Elsie’s been hanging out in the laundry room. Then on Saturday I opened the door and let her walk out. Pete was not impressed.

However, Elsie is very cool. She walks s-l-o-w-l-y through the house and never makes eye contact with Pete. Pete does a hilarious growl that sounds like he’s gargling. You know how you can sort of talk while you’re gargling? Pete is saying ow-oh-ow-oh-ow-oh. My favorite part is that his little kitty mouth is moving and he looks like one of those poorly animated talking animals on a commercial.

Lulu is totally confused by the whole thing. She could care less about Elsie, but she keeps misinterpreting Pete’s gargling and thinks that he’s gargling at her, which means she starts growling and barking, and then everyone gets upset and goes into hiding. Including me.

[End of cat talk]

• Yesterday afternoon the power went out around 3:30 and did not come back on until 9. People: I was a good sport during Katrina. I cheerily sweated and did not complain. I was not a good sport last night. I was pissed that it was too dark to read and that I had to eat cold spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Also: do you know what’s worse than watching Two and a Half Men? Listening to it on a radio that picks up tv stations.

I guess when you’re just listening you pay closer attention, and man: I’ve never seen this show before, but if this is a hit, then it’s no wonder that Dubya got elected twice. Apparently the premise of the show is that one brother is a sleazebag and the other is a nerd. In this episode, the sleazebag made his nerd brother go to a club with him. The nerd didn’t want to go because he was watching The Daily Show. When he said something like, “I don’t want to go — John Stewart just told a hilarious joke about budget deficits” the laugh track clearly disapproved. They laughed, but with caution. It wasn’t the raucous hoedown that the sleazebag’s jokes about the nerd’s dancing received. Y’all, he vogued and did the robot! That nerd sure is square!

However, I should not talk about one’s taste in sitcoms revealing their intelligence level. After the power came back on (oh sweet, sweet power), I watched an episode of Roseanne and laughed heartily at several parts, including this one:

Dan (angry): I’m going to spend tonight like I did the night before we got married, getting drunk with my friends!
Roseanne: Oh, Dan, you got drunk with your MOM.
Dan: My mom can drink any of my friends under the table.

Ha ha! He got drunk with his mom!

2 Responses to “Two and a Half Nuggets.”

  1. craige said:

    The problem with reading this entry is that now I really want some Nerds to eat.

  2. Sally said:

    In 9th grade, I bought and then ate a very large fundraising-size box of grape Nerds. Then I came home and ate part of a Chef Boy-ar-Dee pizza my mom made. Then I threw up. I haven’t eaten either one since, which pissed my family off because I couldn’t handle the distinctive smell of the Chef Boy-ar-Dee pizzas anymore. Mmm, pizza dough…in a box!