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13 Oct 2011

Remember Me When I Am Creepy.

Written by sally @ 2:02 pm — Section: sally

I’ve continued to Amazon Wishlist-stalk my old/former friend Callie, and I’m delighted to report that she is apparently expecting a baby! (Or perhaps her partner is. The grapevine that told me years ago that she’s gay is no longer open for questioning.) She has registered for a Baby Bjorn and hippie diapers and the complete run of the Muppet Show. Who else could I tell this to but you, internet?

Her birthday was last week and I was thisclose to ordering her a present off her list, but then I thought that perhaps this would creep her out and she would make her list private, which would be worse, in a way, than the time she kind of stole my boyfriend, or at least became rather chummy with him after I broke up with him for saying he loved me.

There is also the chance that she wouldn’t think it was creepy, though. When we were in 7th grade, even though we lived a few streets away, I anonymously mailed her a copy of a book called Remember Me When I Am Dead hoping to creep her out, and it totally didn’t work. She just happily opened it and read it, thinking, “Cool! Someone mailed me a book!”

Let’s gloss over the fact that at age 12, I was engaging in the same behavior I am contemplating today. The difference, obviously, is that at 12 I was TRYING to be creepy and at 38 and I am TRYING NOT to be creepy. Here is where, if I were more pretentious, I would quote the first three lines of “Burnt Norton.”

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