1. I didn’t feel terribly rude when I said this, but later, I started thinking that maybe it was rude. Here’s another one: we have this security guard who is only on duty for a few hours a day (when people are coming and going), and one day I saw him at Burger King. He said hello, then said, “I patrol the Whatsit neighborhood during the day. The job at your building isn’t my only job” and I replied with “well I was HOPING it wasn’t your only job!” I am hoping that the french fried pertater smells covered up the rudeness on that one.

2. Beef stroganoff all the way. My [redacted] made it with grubby little meatballs, which were really just wads of hamburger meat with no additional ingredients (read: hard, flavorless), and I think the sauce was a jar of Instant White Gravy. The best part by far were the egg noodles, because come on: you gotta try really hard to screw up egg noodles. I made it the right way a few weeks ago, and man! It was tasty!

3. I actually ate seven Oreos, but will accept “one cubic ton” as the correct answer as well.

4. Trick question: I took Muffs and Morals and Why We Do It. The Gay Genius is a book I found at Goodwill in 1989 and gave to a friend for her birthday; Fags: A History of Cigarettes I totally made up to fool you. Yes!

5. I was most excited about watching The Real Housewives of New York City. I love them.

6. And despite how many people tell me how great these books are, I just can’t get behind vampire books, Tuesdays with Morrie-esque tales, anything set in Rwanda (England and France are acceptable countries), or books about how we are all going to Die because of the apocalypse. I have, in fact, read some of all of these. I firmly believe you should try things before saying I HATE THAT.

Thanks for playing!