1. “I mean, this is a mute point, but…”
2. “Sometimes it’s good to have an old fart around.” — An Old Fart
4. “Is it ok if I bring my strewdriver to work? There’s just one strew I need to tighten on my desk.” (I said yes.)
4. “Have you heard of the most dangerous cheese?” (It’s this one.)
5. “Can you buy these Swisher Sweets for me? I don’t want them to scan my driver’s license. But I promise my name is Lucius P. Granberry.” — 90+ year old man at Walgreens whose name is most likely not Lucius P. Granberry, but who spoke with a Foghorn Leghorn accent
6. “What’s the name of that racist rooster again?” — coworker explaining what was wrong with her Bumble date