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22 Feb 2013

One Pea, People.

Written by sally @ 1:48 pm — Section: sally

1. At my workplace, we have someone who uses this word: overstand. He always underlines the over so there is no doubt to his intent. Sometimes he also says he needs some n/4 about a certain thing. This makes it difficult for everyone.

2. Spike is almost five! (Let me pause a moment to let that sink in.) Five is so grown, a real age. I hope he remembers things about this time, as he is crazy and hilarious. For instance, he knows that “butt” is a bad word and he shouldn’t say it (so he tries to say it as much as possible), but charmingly, he thinks butt is a bad word for stomach. So he’ll say “Oh, my butt is sticking out!” and it is very difficult not to crack up. He has also started drawing pictures of butts, which delights me to no end because I DID THE SAME THING AS A CHILD! Of course, he puts his in an envelope and delivers them to me whereas I hid mine for fear my mother would find them in the trash can, but still. He also told me the other day after peeing in the back yard that his teetee was sparkly. This kid! Gah.

Two more stories: lately he is interested in the concept of people dying, so I have been talking about my very hilarious/weird/deceased grandmother. She enjoyed a good scare, so hiding a plastic frog in her underwear drawer was always a big hit. I’ve told him this story a few times, and so when Larry got him a horrible plastic rat, I said, “Do you know who would like that?” He said, “That girl in heaven?” I said yes. Then he said, “Maybe when I die I’ll bring a backpack so I can take the rat and scare her with it!” Oh, and then I crushed his little sweet head in a giant hug.

A few weeks ago he was super mad at me because I made him eat a pea — ONE PEA, PEOPLE — and because of the hijinx regarding said pea ingestion (such as flicking food onto the table, etc) he lost access to his beloved, his one and only: dessert. So he was pissed, and told me all the things I wasn’t allowed to do anymore, such as hugging and kissing him, etc. Then he went into his room and closed the door, and I was thrilled. I heard him playing in there with his little Fisher-Price digital camera, beep beep boop boop. Then he said, “Mommy?” and I said yes. And he said, “I just CANCELLED all the pictures of you off my camera!” Again, I have a hard time not laughing in these situations. (This is why you’re supposed to have two parents around! So one can go lock themselves in the laundry room and laugh while the other one explains why this was Very Mean.)

I would like to point out that this punishment was devised by someone who is not yet five years old.

3. Sigh, Downton Abbey is over. I had such mixed feelings about this season, the main one being WHY YOU SHOW NO WEDDINGS, FELLOWES?, but I have to say, I admire a show that can manipulate me, and so the fact that I have warm feelings towards Thomas makes me think maybe it’s not so bad.

I recently watched the first two seasons of Homeland in a pretty short period of time, and man, I loved it. For some reason, it didn’t stress me out. This is significant because sitcoms routinely stress me out. My whole life I would have to leave the room 18 minutes into an episode of Three’s Company and then drift back in at minute 27 to see it resolve. But I watched Homeland not for the is-he-or-isn’t-he-a-terrorist thing, but for the fantastic character development. Also how easy it is to make fun of it.

4. I’m reading snippets of several books right now:
Iphigenia in Forest Hills (started last night)
Johannes Cabal the Necromancer
Diary of a Provincial Lady

Sweet Tooth

You can tell they are all very compelling. But I did just finish The Middlesteins and Le Grand Meaulnes and Below Stairs, so look! I can read!

5. There is a quote going around that I believe is supposed to inspire and uplift us, but just wears me out. Here ’tis:

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.” — Haim Ginott

It is a lovely sentiment, but GOD, what pressure! I don’t want to be the decisive element sometimes. I want people to behave. I want the freedom to be a jerk and to be forgiven for it. Being the decisive element IS EXHAUSTING.

5 Responses to “One Pea, People.”

  1. Danielle said:

    I’m sorry, what is the word “overstand” supposed to mean?

  2. sally said:

    It’s when you really, REALLY understand.

  3. Liz said:

    …n/4? I feel like I’m failing a vanity plate joke!

    Funny, frozen peas are the ONLY veggie we can consistently get Henry to eat (they must be frozen at the time of consumption. Otherwise they are “mushy” and, woe, there is much consternation). He has, however, just about gagged himself trying to eat a speck of cooked carrot coated in honey butter.

  4. sally said:

    n/4 is INFO! Don’t you overstand?

  5. poobou said:

    Overstand and N4 would make me die a slow death every time I had to interact with that person.