Home | 52B52W. (2006)

2 Jan 2006

2006 Confessions: January.

Written by sally @ 5:14 pm — Section:

January 1, 2006: I threw up this morning and it was all champagne.

January 2, 2006: It is my grandmother’s birthday and I have pretty much no intention of calling her.

January 3, 2006: I find Hall, of Hall & Oates, incredibly attractive. It was always a benign attraction until I saw the Behind the Music on them, and since then I have not been able to hear a Hall & Oates song without getting dreamy eyed. My favorite song is “You Make My Dreams.”

January 4, 2006: I forgot to confess something today.

January 5, 2006: After seeing a truly hideous (and thankfully, artistically manipulated) photograph of myself, I came face to face with my vanity. And it (like the picture) was not pretty.

January 6, 2006: I might have used my scarf as a Kleenex at some point during the day today.

January 7, 2006: I have the annoying and probably really bad-for-me habit of holding my pee for as long as humanly possible. My mother tells me that I used to run home from Kindergarten and announce, I didn’t have to go today! and then barely make it to the bathroom. In high school I used to wet myself if I laughed too hard. For some reason, all of my friends (ok, two of them) did the same thing. We all grew out of it at the same time, too.

January 8, 2006: I’ve had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach all day. I’ll begin to feel ok, and then I’ll think, wait, what’s wrong? and even though nothing really is wrong, I feel terrible all over again.

January 9, 2006: There is a woman at work with whom I am icily cordial. She speaks to me in the same way. However, occasionally I like to be really, really nice to her, which totally confuses her. Today I told her she had pretty handwriting and she gave me a dirty look.

January 10, 2006: In my head, I tell people I hate them quite often. Additionally, sometimes I am afraid that people can read my thoughts.

January 11, 2006: Once I stole a plastic skull pin which, when you wound it up, would move its jaw up and down. I was wearing a big sweater of my brother’s and scooped it up in my sleeve.

January 12, 2006: I have a very hard time apologizing, especially when I am very, very wrong.

January 13, 2006: I used to work at an opera company and we would receive headshots in the mail daily. I would send the really hideous pictures to my friends for their birthdays. Sometimes I would frame them. I hung one cute guy’s picture in my bathroom at home.

January 14, 2006: It is possible that I used to rip pictures out of library books. Especially books with plates of famous paintings.

January 15, 2006: I once had a crush on a student. It was bad: I got fluttery and giggly in his presence and was obviously flirting during office hours. It was the only time I have ever found a student attractive, even though I have taught around 800 students.

January 16, 2006: I am way more excited about Skating with Celebrities coming on in two days than I should be.

January 17, 2006: In the spirit of American Idol, I must confess that I used to think I could sing. When I was in 7th grade I sang “Fire and Rain” over the phone to my friend Christi Edwards to prove to her how good I was. I had to lay the phone down to really get into it. When I picked the receiver back up, she said, “It was okay.” End of fake singing career.

January 18, 2006: I take terrible care of my fingernails. You could very easily mistake me for homeless if you only saw my nails. Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration. They’re not dirty, just ragged and misshapen.

January 19, 2006: I stole some props from my opera job, including one that the director of Madama Butterfly drove me crazy with by mentioning all the fucking time: a red poppy on a hairpin. Where’s my red poppy on a hairpin? Has anyone seen my red poppy on a hairpin? I must have a red poppy on a hairpin! Come over sometime and I’ll show it to you.

January 20, 2006: I keep the red poppy on a hairpin with the worst pair of earrings ever that my dad gave me for college graduation. I wore them one time, the moment he gave them to me, and that’s only because he told me to put them on so he could take a picture. Confession: I said, “Oh, mom gave me a pair like these last year.” I know it hurt his feelings.

January 21, 2006: In 5th grade, I mispronounced “Nigeria” on purpose to get a laugh, only I almost got my ass kicked by a girl named Arquilla who I didn’t know was there.

January 22, 2006: I almost didn’t go visit my grandmother while I was already in the tiny town where she lives, about .10 miles from her house. But then, thankfully, guilt won me over.

January 23, 2006: I got free long distance for almost a year and my only thought was that they would one day catch me, not that it was wrong. Triple that scenario for free cable. (Favorite free cable story: I lived in a chopped up house and the girl on the other side of my wall, Loudmouth Johnson, had paid-for cable. The cable company came out to disconnect my free cable and ended up disconnecting her paid-for cable as well. So she complained and both of our cable was restored. Thanks, Loudmouth Johnson! It was the least she could do after having that luau in our driveway.)

January 24, 2006: I told Lulu that I hated her and that she was a loser about 1 million times today.

January 25, 2006: I think about people on television more often than I do people I actually know.

January 26, 2006: I very hungrily and greedily rip open correspondence from charity organizations, remove the personalized address labels they have prepared for me, and then toss the rest with little or no guilt.

January 27, 2006: In high school, I stole the cassette single of the Bangles’ “Eternal Flame.” From Goodwill.

January 28, 2006: I tend to hold a grudge.

January 29, 2006: I have a problem coming up with things to say around groups of people larger than two or three, even if I know everyone in the room really, really well.

January 30, 2006: I usually forget to confess something every day, and then have to confess 7-8 things in a row.

January 31, 2006: I originally intended to confess something once a day for a year. But fuck that! This was hard. In February, I’m going to do something else.

One Response to “2006 Confessions: January.”

  1. The Oh Really » The List List. said:

    […] Confession is Good for the Soul: January. […]