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20 Jul 2010

Nug-Nug-Nuggin’ on Heaven’s Door.

Written by sally @ 1:36 pm — Section: sally

Reasons I Will Hide You On Facebook:
• abuse of the exclamation point
• frequent misspellings
• bragging about the stuff you bought, referenced by brand name
• too much Palin

Have you ridden a train recently? If so, did it go through the Mississippi Delta? Friends, you’re missing out on a real treat. Not only can your stomach be rocked into a state of abject misery, but look out the window, if you will, at the beautiful countryside! Wait, it’s beautiful on one side, anyway, the way the land is flat for miles except for the kudzu-covered trees rising up like monsters, but what’s this on the other side? Oh. Huh. Look at that. It’s flooded and half-burned trailers. Falling down houses. Crumbly businesses with vines grown up over the doors. Old men sitting in chairs in the front yard, watching you go by. The most bowlegged child you have ever seen. If you happen to be listening to Elliott Smith, congrats! You are now filled with a desire to throw yourself in front of the train, which will delight the people on the side of the tracks, as nothing ever happens where they live.

I read this book based on the awesome cover. It was funny! And sad. And made me feel weird. Is that a good thing? I can’t tell.

I was telling a friend the other day that the algorithm for a book getting on my to-read list is this:

positive mention in the New Yorker or NYT
+
positive mention in Entertainment Weekly

This is why I am reading The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman. Marketing! I heard your cries! (Fine: I don’t know the difference between an algorithm and a formula, ok?)

6 Responses to “Nug-Nug-Nuggin’ on Heaven’s Door.”

  1. poobou said:

    I’m with you on the FB thing, and I’ll add two more reasons I hide people on FB:
    * Every update is about the glory of Jesus Christ our lord and savior
    * Obama bashing (or any racist, mysoginistic, anti-Semitic talk)

    Related: I am not impressed with some of the people I went to high school with. Not at all.

  2. ap said:

    *complaining in every, very frequent, update how you don’t have to time to do everything
    May I suggest that FB be the first thing you let go?

  3. Sally said:

    *overuse of the word “hubby”

  4. Mix said:

    *cryptic updates about how depressed you are.

  5. ap said:

    *excessive LOLing

  6. Prof Fury said:

    See, now I feel bad that I didn’t read this before we saw you this weekend. I made you repeat a whole blog post! Or wait, maybe I just made you perform it in preparation for your one-woman show at New Stage next year.