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28 Oct 2019

Not Just Standing Around.

Written by sally @ 8:50 am — Section: sally

Just a note to say that life remains wonderfully, hilariously weird: last week would’ve been my 15th wedding anniversary. Because I talk to Larry more often now than when we were married, we wished each other a happy one, and noted that we’re almost even: we were married eight years and have been divorced seven. Anyway, then a few days later I guess he was looking at old pictures in his phone and sent me a picture of my boyfriend at their college homecoming five years ago. The fact that I exist in a space where my ex-husband is like “here’s an old picture of your boyfriend, with whom I have been friends for almost 30 years” delights me to no end. Also, the picture was cute and I responded, “Aw, cute!” because look, this guy is cute.

I have this new old lady friend (she is seriously an 87-year-old lady) who invited me to her book club. I had a big time listening to the olds shriek with laughter over Andrew Scott Greer’s Less, and a slightly bigger time listening to the gossip about the other members on the way home. This one lost two husbands, and is about to marry a third; this one’s husband left her 20 years ago and she has had no interest in men since; this one is dating a widower but everyone is worried because the wife only died four months ago. The thing that is currently consuming you is going to go away. A new thing will consume you. That thing will go away and then a new thing will arrive. Life is going to continue to roll on whether you like it or not. Stuff you have no idea about is going to happen. Some of it will be awful and will break your heart. Some of it will be wonderful, and you will annoy everyone with your happiness.

I look; morning to night I am never done with looking.

Looking I mean not just standing around, but standing around
As though with your arms open.

–Mary Oliver, patron saint of everything
“Where Does the Temple Begin, Where Does it End?”

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