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10 Nov 2009

Not Exactly Non-Sequiturs, Not Exactly Rational Thoughts Either.

Written by sally @ 9:41 pm — Section: Uncategorized

You know what’s gross? Lifting the toilet lid and discovering the cat turds you scooped but forgot to flush.

I have seen the face of evil, and it resides in a face-shaped pattern of old detergent, cat hair, general dirt, and dust clumps under one’s washer and dryer. I swept up an absurdly large pile of crap that took 5 dustpan fillings to dispose of. That washer and dryer have been in the same position for over 5 years. What if they had lasted longer? The gigantor clumps of evil would most likely have come to life, demanded a sandwich, and then eaten the baby instead.

I got locked out tonight while Larry was gone, and instead of hovering around the outside of the house near the baby’s room, fretting about whether or not I could hear him if he were to cry out in his sleep, instead I did what any rational person would do: borrowed the neighbor’s rake and started raking the front yard in the dark until Larry got home.

Today when I picked up Spike from daycare, he and his buds were playing with some homemade play-doh, but god help them all, it was dark brown. Dark brown homemade play-doh. I knew it was play-doh, but seeing your child happily pound on a clump of something that could very well be poop was still weird.

Speaking of daycare, the last time I sent diapers to school with Spike, something came over me as I was writing his name and I ended up drawing horns, a pointy goatee, and a tail on the baby on the package.

Ok, I’m done now.

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