Pete Loves Doorframes. | Home | Afterlife, Schmafterlife + A New Book.

17 Oct 2005

Never Again.

Written by sally @ 10:48 am — Section: sally

I started a list in 1999 of the kinds of boys I would no longer date. I kept adding to it through the years; the last item was added sometime in 2003. The list, verbatim:

Never again…
1. vegetarians
2. younger boys
3. virginal types
4. Catholics
5. yankees
6. boys in bands
7. people who do not understand the mystery and wonder of letter writing*
8. people who talk in funny voices
9. Baptists
10. people I’ve already gone out with
11. Starkville people

*This boyfriend was annoyed that I wrote him a couple of letters. His only one to me:

Dear Saihlleighay [he loooooved to spell my name insanely wrong],

You’re weird.

[dumb boy name, without so much as a “sincerely” or “peace out” or “check ya later,” much less a “love”]

8 Responses to “Never Again.”

  1. Calla said:

    So, since I’m 2; 4ish; and 8, we could never date. That plus, I don’t think either one of us is that into chicks. But still. What a funny list. I bet there’s a great story behind how each of these was added to the list.

  2. sally said:

    I never actually practiced what my list preached. I ended up marrying and divorcing the third Catholic yankee I went out with. And while he was not a vegetarian, he did not eat cheese, which is worse. I should’ve changed that to “stupid-ass dietary preferences.”

  3. The Librarian said:

    I guess I’m 11ish with my BA & MA from MSU.

  4. gorjus said:

    I’m 1, 2, 8, and 11!! Woot!

  5. larry ferrari said:

    Only 2.
    and 6, if I get the band back together. and then there would be 8, but thank god for speech therapy. Oh and, 9, if I weren’t agnostic. Jesus, it would have been 3 if I had not gotten that tattoo on my forehead.

  6. The Librarian said:

    I thought about including 8, but I had speech therapy.

  7. Polly said:

    calla, you’re a boy?

  8. Calla said:

    My secret is out.