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22 Aug 2013

Mr. and Mrs. and Mr. Oh Whatever Your Name Is. You There.

Written by sally @ 1:26 pm — Section: sally

When I married Larry Ferrari, I didn’t take his last name. But then when I was pregnant with Spike, I don’t know, I just imagined this tiny baby getting confused about what my name was and crying a lot. So I changed it to Sally Nordan Ferrari, and I always used it as Sally Nordan Ferrari, never Sally Ferrari, because in real life there is kind of a horrible RHYMING element that is just bad. Think Sally Leebowitz (sah lee lee bo witz).

Then when we divorced, I didn’t have part of the divorce decree change my name back (which, btw, is the easiest/cheapest way to get that done; otherwise it is a separate court shenanigan altogether), but I started using Sally Nordan wherever I could get away with it: at work, socially, ordering items online, etc. I’m Ferrari for medical, legal, or for Spike purposes.

Recently, Spike’s school is attempting to take on the very complicated task of splitting up the Larry+Sally union in their database. Surely we are not the only pair of divorced parents at this school but . . . hell, it’s possible, judging from the way some of the moms act like I have cooties at birthday parties.* Generally I still get mail from the school addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Larry Ferrari. Antiquated, but whatever. However, we are making great strides in 2013 because I received a piece of mail to this very progressive pair:

Mrs. and Mr. Sally Nordan Ferrari

I’ve never seen the Mrs. before the Mr.! It’s so forward-thinking! And to have the woman’s name be the one that they’re BOTH lumped together by! It’s revolutionary!

I have no plans to correct this.

*It’s possible that they think I have cooties for other reasons,** but the cootieness usually happens after a “what does your husband do?” convo.
**One reason could be is that I actually have cooties.

3 Responses to “Mr. and Mrs. and Mr. Oh Whatever Your Name Is. You There.”

  1. Liz said:

    I actually never thought about the rhyming quality of your name!

    I come across this addressing problem when sending out formal invitations to our faculty. If the man is a Dr. and the wife not AND they share a last name, it is standard to do: Dr. and Mrs. John Johnson. I have all kinds of variations I do depending on last names and honorifics, but I like to list the faculty member first regardless of gender. So sometimes there is the case of female faculty member, same last name. Those people get at Dr. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Johnson, though I would LOVE to do a Dr. and Mr. Jane Johnson for sake of fairness 🙂

  2. poobou said:

    Considering the state in which you currently reside, I’d say that’s very progressive. Don’t correct them.

    (And yeah, I get the cooties thing at school too. Elementary school is the worst. They’re always looking for volunteer parents to come in, and I’m like, “yeah, single mom, I work full time, can’t make it.” Apparently I’m a bit of an anomaly. Who knew?

  3. poobou said:

    …And I didn’t close the parentheses on that last paragraph, which is going to bug the crap out of me.

    ) <— There it is.