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12 Feb 2007

Month 1: The Resolutions I Should’ve Made.

Written by sally @ 9:05 pm — Section:

1. I should’ve resolved to actually make real resolutions.

2. I should’ve resolved to buy fewer things just because they are 90% off.

3. I should’ve resolved to wash my face every night before I go to bed. Boring fake resolution, but a very real one.

4. I should’ve resolved to drink more water. Again with the snore.

5. I should’ve resolved to eat fewer Chee-tos.

6. I should’ve resolved to read the books I pretended to read in graduate school. Like every Henry James book I skimmed in that Henry James seminar I took. Sorry, Dr. Phillips!

7. I should’ve resolved to take more walks. At least just to spy on all the people in my neighborhood who don’t have window treatments.

8. I should’ve resolved to call people back when they call me.

9. I should’ve resolved to buy some plants, and then remember to water them.

10. I should’ve resolved to spend less time Googlestalking people I went to elementary school with. Although how would I have known that Christen was one of Paige’s bridesmaids?

11. I should’ve resolved to have better posture. One day, people are going to start calling me “Eudora Welty,” and not because we are great Southern personalities.

12. I should’ve resolved to have all those things framed that have been sitting in a pile on top of the armoir for three years.

13. I should’ve resolved to write more letters.

14. I should’ve resolved to get my hair cut regularly instead of waiting until I resemble a homeless person to get a haircut.

15. I should’ve resolved to be less ornery.

16. I should’ve resolved to eat new foods. I have done better in recent years, but my first reaction is still usually “ick.”

17. I should’ve resolved to care less about my ongoing battle with mine sworn enemy, dirt.

18. I should’ve resolved to read gossip websites less. BUT OH GOD WHY WOULD I.

19. I should’ve resolved to stop telling the dog I hate her when she gets really barky and annoying.

20. I should’ve resolved to care less that people I work with think I am a goody-goody. (Because they do! I have confirmation of this fact!)

21. I should’ve resolved to read more of the books I read while I was growing up, because every time I do I figure out some aspect of my personality that I have co-opted from those books.

22. I should’ve resolved to love television less, but IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

23. I should’ve resolved to hold grudges for about half the time I actually hold them for. (See? It’s realistic; I’m not saying I should give up grudgeholding.)

24. I should’ve resolved to learn some new words. And to abolish “awesome.”

25. I should’ve resolved to somehow make myself remember my dreams more often.

26. I should’ve resolved to stop my love affair with Coca-Cola.

27. I should’ve resolved to make more lists.

28. I should’ve resolved to do the things that take effort that I put off doing because they take so much effort and then I never do at all.

29. I should’ve resolved to choose fake resolution-making for a month with fewer than 31 days.

30. I should’ve resolved to get my tattoo fixed. I know! I have a tattoo! However, it is small (you could cover it with a dime if you really wished) and insignificant and in a place where I have total control over who sees it. And I see it every day and think, “That kind of looks like an eleven-year-old tattoo that cost $20,” and one day I need to have it recolored.

31. I should’ve resolved to be better person in general. Because that’s an easy resolution.

2 Responses to “Month 1: The Resolutions I Should’ve Made.”

  1. Lucy said:

    You have a TATOO???

  2. Sally said:

    It’s fairly insignificant. You know that five-petaled flower that everyone doodles while they’re on the phone? It’s that. About the size of a standard doodle, too.