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28 Dec 2006

I Canna Believe It.

Written by sally @ 4:08 pm — Section: sally

A few weeks ago, Mrs. Floon served on jury duty, and one of the people in the jury with her spoke with an affected, obviously fake Scottish brogue. On the last day, someone asked him where in Scotland he was from, and he said that he wasn’t Scottish, he just had Parkinson’s disease. Um.

Also, one of the witnesses in the case exclaimed from the stand, “And if I could’ve seen the rest of those divorce records, I could’ve stopped that black market baby ring!” How jealous am I that I wasn’t there?

While I was at my mother’s I was just going to take a peek at my scrapbook from middle and high school, but when I opened it I found that everything was beginning to rot (hello, I am old enough to have rotting memorabilia) so I took it apart. Most everything I remembered, but there were a slew of notes from this boy named Doug who was in my English class, and all I have to say is: wow. Doug, wherever you are, you were a comic genius and I was too dumb to notice. I also found an intriguing envelope marked “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL THE YEAR 2000 — PUT IN IN 1984,” and guess what super top secret awesomeness was in it?

Actually, yeah: you’ll have to guess. It’s one of the following:

1. A play, written by me in 6th grade, about how one day David V. and I will get married.
2. David V.’s name written over and over. For three pages.
3. A game of MASH in which I marry David V., live in a house, and have 2 kids named Tad and Jenny.
4. A journal entry in which I predict that one day, David V. will have a Parkinson’s-induced Scottish brogue.

6 Responses to “I Canna Believe It.”

  1. Lucy said:

    I’m going to go with the game of MASH.

  2. poobou said:

    I’m choosing #1, the play. Because I can sort of see how the drama of it would appeal to a 12 year-old Sally.

  3. mix said:

    I want so badly for number 2 to be the answer, but I think that the answer has to be number 3 because you’d want to open the MASH up in the year 2000 to see if it worked.

    Did you bring any of your scrapbook keepings home with you? That’s a dumb question, but I had to ask it.

  4. liz said:

    Oh yeah, MASH. Can I tell you that I ALSO have saved notes from my middle school Doug? Maybe we should compare…

    I believe I also have notes to my future self, mostly wondering whether I’m still friends with my middle school friends and whether they are now famous (answer: no).

  5. sally said:

    Actually, it was #2. Just his name…over and over again. Uh, and the lyrics to “Give it Up” by KC.

    David V. turned out to be a dick, however, and totally unworthy of my 6th grade affections.

  6. gorjus said:

    That’s the best KC & the Sunshine Band song evah. And, although you allowed almost 20 hours to elapse before revealing what number was true, I honestly guessed #2. Mainly because it conjoins yr love of David V. with yr love of cursive.