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30 Aug 2010

Heel-Less!!!!!!

Written by sally @ 8:26 pm — Section: sally

After some magazine I subscribed to failed last year, I started getting Vanity Fair, which I usually only read on airplanes. I like it, but it’s such a strange magazine. It’s at once celebrating classic old people stuff (Grace Kelly was their super topical cover girl a few months ago) and at the same time trying to be hip. The latest issue has Lady Gaga on the cover, and while the photographs are fantastic, the story was apparently written by my great aunt. It has great insights such as “New Yorkers know from birth that Times Square is a tourist hellhole and the center of nothing.” Is that so! I’ve never picked that up from the other one thousand other books and tv shows and movies that MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR. And the section where Lady Gaga discusses how the soul of her dead aunt inhabited her mother’s womb and that is why she has two hearts (which: HELLO THAT IS REALLY INTERESTING) is tacked on to a paragraph about her life growing up in New York called, uninterestingly, “Native New Yorker.” And this description of her outfit makes my teeth hurt: “She enters the living room–not quite tottering on eight-inch-high heel-less black leather boots. So much for comfort.” The italics on heel-less set me off. That’s the thing you’re going to italicize regarding her wardrobe? Y’all! Them shoes don’t have no heels! Yeah, she was just wearing a Kermit the Frog dress, but shit. No heels!!

Also the print is really small. However, squinting at the captions of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton and muttering comments to myself is worth the cost of my subscription. Sign me up for life! When I’m 90, I’ll fall asleep and drool onto my latest issue with Tom Selleck on the cover which I’ll have read with a magnifying glass. (Of course, it will be a special spage-age magnifying glass which my grandchildren brought me when they took me to lunch in their flying car.)

One Response to “Heel-Less!!!!!!”

  1. poobou said:

    I sometimes read Vanity Fair at the hair salon. It is really freaking weird.

    I think I’ve seen those heal-less shoes. They look like torture devices. But yeah, the emphasis on that one aspect of Gaga’s Clothing Insanity is kind of odd.