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6 Mar 2012

Give Me a Break; I Haven’t Posted in Weeks.

Written by sally @ 2:37 pm — Section: sally

If you are a fan of confusing yourself on purpose to the extent that you can no longer remember the way things were supposed to be before you told yourself the wrong thing just to see if you could make yourself think that way, this exercise is for you.

A few months ago I was in the elevator at work and to amuse myself (on that 30 second ride — you know Generation X-ers gotta be entertained, yo) I was looking at the arrow buttons. I read somewhere that the DOOR CLOSE and DOOR OPEN buttons are actually a sham, that they exist to make us feel better about standing in a mechanical box. So I was looking at the buttons, and it occurred to me that while they look like this:

it is also possible to pretend that the straight up and down parts of the triangles represent the doors themselves, and so the traditional CLOSE button actually means OPEN and the OPEN button means CLOSE. Just look at for a moment. See how the up and down parts are far away from each other on CLOSE? Why, that means OPEN, obviously. And see how the up and down parts are close together on OPEN? Yep. CLOSE.

So while I understand this is not, in fact, how elevators work, I have gotten into the habit of looking at these in every elevator I get into, and having a little “Oh ho ho, that CLOSE is really an OPEN ho ho” moment, only now, when I get into an elevator, I CAN’T REMEMBER WHICH IS WHICH, which also reminds me of how I periodically get into the habit of amusing myself by reading words backwards, and once in college I accidentally said something about Sivle, and my boyfriend was all “do what now” and that was so entertaining I refused to tell him who Sivle was, and then finally I confessed that it was Elvis.

PS: I just went into the elevator to make sure I had it right, and not only are the buttons round and not square (what kind of janky square-button elevator exists in my dreams?), but they also do not say CLOSE or OPEN or HI THERE or SIVLE. So while this exercise was stupid, it was not, in fact, as stupid as I thought it was when I began this post. The Oh Really: Making Me 5% Less Stupid Since, Like, 2005 or Something.

One Response to “Give Me a Break; I Haven’t Posted in Weeks.”

  1. Liz said:

    I looked this morning in our elevators. One of them does have square buttons (and to be fair, is quite janky). The other looks like your picture with the arrows displayed in boxes, but with accompanying round buttons that say “door open” and “door closed”. So it is agreed the arrows look good in squares.