Ham and Pigs, Y’all. | Home | Cinq!

3 Dec 2011

For Me, It Isn’t Over.

Written by sally @ 5:08 pm — Section: sally

If you listen to the radio at all, you probably know all the words to the Adele song “Someone Like You” because it is played incessantly. Don’t get me wrong: I listen every time! I sing along lustily, much to the chagrin of my child, who wept as he begged me to stop singing the other night! This is much better than my usual relationship with popular music, which is thus:
1. What is this crap.
2. Why would anyone listen to this.
3. I’m going to continue to listen to try to figure out why humans would enjoy this.
4. (Twenty listens later)
5. Singing along: Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy
6. (Twenty listens later)
7. OH GOD PLEASE PLAY SOMETHING ELSE, RADIO!
8. Repeat 1-4, replace lyrics in 5 with HAY SOUL SISTER AIN’T THAT MR MISTER ON THE RADIO STEREO ET CETERA

So I am delighted that I enjoy the Adele song, as it could be worse (see above). Although it could be made better if she weren’t a super creepy stalker lady in the song. All she needs are a roll of duct tape and an adult diaper to get herself arrested.

She starts out ok: she’s heard that the dude has settled down and gotten married. I can sympathize with this segment because even if you didn’t even like someone you dated all that much, hearing that they’ve gotten married is rough. I’m with you, girl. Then things turn weeyid. She says, “Old friend, why are you so shy? Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light.” Hmm. Sounds like she’s standing in front of the dude wondering why he’s not saying much. Surely she’s not, like AT HIS HOUSE or anything, right?

Then she sings this part (this is the best part to sing, btw):
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.

Oh. Oh, girlfriend. So you’re at his door? Face to face, wigging him out with that certain gleam in your eye that makes adrenaline pump through one’s body in the manner of those who are about to be kidnapped? Well, no fucking wonder he’s shy! He’s trying to signal to a neighbor to call the police.

Then thankfully, she doesn’t sing any verses about how she chopped him up in little pieces; she changes her tune and sings the chorus: Nevermind; I’ll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, etc. Things are looking up for old Adele’s sanity here. I like to imagine she delivers this part and then goes and gets back in her car to leave. The happily married boyfriend then locks the door, sets the house alarm, and tells his wife she and the dog can get out of the safe room now.

I further imagine that maybe when she repeats the creeptastic verses about wanting him to see her face and realize that she is still a psychopath that she’s just singing it to herself as she drives away. Maybe at this point she will call me so I can tell her she DEFINITELY did the right thing by leaving without murdering anyone. As she crosses the train tracks, we see the police arrive, responding to the neighbor’s 911 call where he reported “some British lady is singing to my neighbor and he was raising his eyebrows in Morse code and I’m pretty sure he spelled out S-O-S but it might’ve been M-O-M because I’m not that good with Morse code and all.” Happily, Adele gets away, leaving her able to release another song in a month or so that I will soon learn all the words to and sing along to while my child cries in the back seat.

5 Responses to “For Me, It Isn’t Over.”

  1. Elizabeth said:

    My favorite was realizing that the song “Pumped Up Kicks” was about a kid shooting his high school. Damn, loved that catchy song until I got the words down. Now I can’t listen to it. Just too creepy. Almost like the Carpenters stalker song.

  2. Jay said:

    You’re missing the last word from that line:
    “Nevermind; I’ll find someone like you,
    I wish nothing but the best for you TWO”
    Some sites say “you too” but I think “you two” makes more sense. Whether that makes it more or less creepy, I don’t know. I do know that I’ve spent too much time looking it up on lyrics sites.

  3. poobou said:

    I think I’m too caught up in my own post-relationship drama to appreciate this song. I get irrationally angry at Adele. “Don’t find someone like him, find someone BETTER than him, dammit!”

    I will admit, though, my favorite part of that song is that my 4 year-old sings it with completely the wrong words. It’s kind of adorable.

  4. sally said:

    Jay, you’re totally right. If it were “too,” he’d have to’ve said “I wish the best for you,” but obviously he didn’t, as he’s too scared.

  5. Jay said:

    “To’ve” is my favorite contraction ever.