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20 Apr 2004

Five Things I Saw While Visiting the Family Dollar Discount Store On My 15-Minute Afternoon Break a Few Minutes Ago.

Written by sally @ 2:56 pm — Section: sally

1. A woman yelling to an imaginary person in the parking lot. Some of the words I heard: goddamn; Metamucil; you think you’re so smart; general yelling, arm waving as well.

2. Rolls of red, transparent gift wrap for $.12 each. (I bought 8 rolls.)

3. An employee truly, truly mortified that she put the washrag display on the end of the wrong aisle.

4. A mother taking advantage of the fact that her small children cannot read by letting them have Easter candy that was marked down to $.12, thus being the hero. They were out of their minds with happiness that they got to get candy.

5. On the walk back to work, I thought I saw a dead bunny in the bushes (this was in the tall grass by the greasy, diaper-laden path). I don’t know why I looked again, but I’m glad I did, because it was only someone’s hair. (The $.88 Store, on the other side of the workplace, also sells hair.)

One day, my workplace will move to a new location. I have a feeling it will never happen in my lifetime.

8 Responses to “Five Things I Saw While Visiting the Family Dollar Discount Store On My 15-Minute Afternoon Break a Few Minutes Ago.”

  1. gclark said:

    how can the gift wrap be red and transparent at the same time?

  2. Sally said:

    Have you ever seen an iMac?

  3. pinky said:

    they make see-thru kind of paper, really pretty, too.

    sally, not sure why you were relieved at the fact it wasn’t a dead bunny but hair. i think that would be a little freakier.

  4. Sally said:

    There are weaves all up in this parking lot on a regular basis. Hair = not scary. Dead bunny = scary.

  5. gclark said:

    oh, now i get it. kinda like the red lens in 3D glasses.

  6. Sally said:

    Yeeeees. Exactly.

  7. poobou said:

    I think the word is translucent, not transparent. But whatever, I’m just nitpicking.

    I love that “metamucil” was among the words the woman was yelling to herself. That’s awesome. Somehow it makes the whole thing not quite so scary — like she’s not crazy, she’s just constipated.

  8. Isabelle said:

    Dear Sally,
    Hair from the $.88 Store IS SO scary.