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7 Jul 2009

A Portrait of My Home This Evening.

Written by sally @ 6:12 pm — Section: sally

Here was what was happening in my house about an hour ago: Spike was pissed off, tired, screaming, and ready for bed. We went to start running his bath water and discovered that Pete had exploded all over the bathroom.

Turds. Turds and barf and a pile of something that could’ve been either one. Pete is fond of barfing into an article of clothing or a towel and then politely folding the garment in half — this time it was the rug that looked like it had just fallen, folded and barfless, out of the cabinet. Because Spike was a thrashing howler monkey and was attached to my person, I dumped him into the pack and play, which he did not appreciate, and which caused the already horrifying noises to come out of his tiny body to become louder and more murderous. So then I threw away the rug, dumped Pete’s litter box, refilled it, and coughed through a cloud of dust kicked up by the cheap clay litter Pete’s delicate sensibilities insist upon (he does not care for clumping kind, thank you very much, and he does not care for scented litter — and, while he is an asshole, when Pete insists upon something, I listen). THEN I had to mop the bathroom, all the while listening to Spike scream and sob.

Spike continued to sob through his bath, pausing occasionally to laugh at his bath toys. It sounded like this: WAH WAH WAH HA HA HA HA! (pause) WAH WAH WAH WAH. Then he cried through drying off, getting his pajamas on, and me fixing his nighttime bottle. The moment the child was finished with the bottle, he threw it on the floor and passed out.

And I totally forgot to tell you that when we were coming back into the living room I could totally smell cat turds and knew that my turd wrasslin’ wasn’t over for the night, but it turned out to be pretty easy to find because there was a carefully folded baby blanket on the floor. Pete is like one of those serial killers who can’t resist leaving a calling card.

Anyway, hi! Hope you’re having a good night.

2 Responses to “A Portrait of My Home This Evening.”

  1. poobou said:

    Wow. Not jealous of your evening at ALL. Hope Pete’s tummy is better and that Spike got a good night’s sleep.

  2. Ruby said:

    Full moon last night. That’s the only explanation I have for that. Hope your day is better today.