11 Sep 2006
1. I hate pickles. I have a theory that I will die if I eat one.
2. I hate that they no longer show Anne of Green Gables, like, all the freaking time on PBS. I could really go for some Gilbert Blythe right now.
3. I hate that I live in the humidity capital of the world, and that the hairdo I leave the house with is never, ever the hairdo I end up at work with.
4. I hate that sometimes, I find it so difficult to keep a secret that I have to call someone in another state to tell them the excellent scoop I have. Then I feel guilty, but also relieved.
5. I hate interacting with people who are not aware of how others perceive them.
6. I hate coming home to a messy house, but especially coming home to a house that has an unmade bed.
7. I hate that I have always been such a crummy student.
8. I hate the sound of talk radio. It’s the sound of someone talking on the phone over the radio that drives me crazy.
9. I hate it when someone says “wow, that’s interesting” while they’re reading and then they wait for you to ask WELL WHAT IS IT.
10. I hate that most of the time, I take the easy option.
11. I hate, as a general rule, the blues. And by “the blues” I mean any song that has “na NA na NA” as the main riff.
12. I hate listening to people chew.
13. I hate Ugg boots and Crocks. People: get serious.
14. I hate that it is way harder to come up with things I hate than I originally thought.
15. I hate that I can get waaaay more emotionally invested in made up people than in real ones. Case in point: my new fascination with Grey’s Anatomy. And the fact that I still dream about old characters from All My Children who fell off of cliffs 15 years ago.
16. I hate it when I get it into my head that something smells bad, or different than usual, because then I can’t smell it for real. Par example: sometimes coffee smells like hot dogs to me.
17. I hate knee-jerk hipster cynicism.
18. I hate it when someone not in your profession wants to lecture you about your profession, when the someone knows very well what your profession is. I mean, that’s stupid. Hey, plumber! You know what plumbers should do? As a non-plumber, here’s something that is totally out of the range of what plumbers do! Yeah!
19. I hate that I cannot keep my plants alive. And yet I do not care enough to really try all that hard.
20. I hate it when I think about germs too much.
21. I hate that my new contacts aren’t in yet.
22. I hate it when someone makes up a really dumb, easily checked lie, and then when you confront them, you’re the one who ends up feeling bad instead of the person who lied in the first place.
23. I hate that I forgot about this list and that now it’s October 4 and I have to think up a bunch of stuff I hate.
24. I hate traveling with people I don’t know very well. Especially when they are not good at flying.
25. I hate it when someone says “I need to talk to you” and doesn’t say what it’s about, and then I freak out and paranoia sets in and I imagine that I am about to be fired.
26. I hate it when someone thinks implies that there is something wrong with me because I happen to have the ability to write backwards as fast as I can write forwards. I mean, that should be celebrated! It’s cool! Don’t roll your eyes at me!
27. I hate feeling like a snob, even when I can make a pretty logical argument for not liking something.
28. I hate that I feel like it is my responsibility to answer the questions of the insane.
29. I hate the group of Britney Spears/dirty fake cowgirls (long, dyed brown hair; tank tops; cowboy boots) who were desparate for attention at the International Spy Museum and who had to talk loud while I was inspecting the lock-picking tools one can store in one’s rectum.
30. I hate that I cannot go to the International Spy Museum on a more regular basis.