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17 Aug 2005

The Memo Board.

Written by sally @ 7:49 am — Section: sally

I was sitting at my desk here a moment ago trying to remember what it was I was going to tell you people about, and instead got distracted by the stuff that’s on my memo board.

There’s a wedding invitation (mine). A mugshot-looking picture of a student from a few years ago (the picture was from 20 years before he was my student). There is a parking permit from the University of North Texas, 1994-1995, # B 26976. A picture of my stepfather wearing a lei that I have used as a bookmark for years. A scribbled note from something hilarious I saw on Conan O’Brien: Bluebird of Happiness v. Cobra of Misery. A Chick-fil-a coupon (expired). A picture of my old cat, Kitty, wearing a skating dress originally intended for Belle, Snoopy’s sister (the Belle doll that I had came with a suitcase full of clothes that fit cats perfectly). A scribbled note from a conversation with a student a few years ago — this is the punchline of her story, perhaps the best punchline of any story, ever: The girl with the big booty is your son. A picture of a chicken (maybe it’s a duck?) and a rooster a student drew at the end of her test because I told the class that I always did that and sometimes my teachers felt sorry for me for being such a goob that they gave me extra credit pity points, and you never know, maybe you should draw pictures and write me love notes too. The birthdate of my friend’s boyfriend so I could attempt to find out info on him from the internet. Some uptight whitey translations of the R. Kelly song “Ignition (Remix),” printed out on label tape. Paint chips in Glacier Bay and Refreshing Pool, for consideration in the back room, where I am now.

17 Responses to “The Memo Board.”

  1. gorjus said:

    This is Pure Sally–just so, so, Sally. This is fantastic, as (I hope) you are my only friend that dresses up cats in doll clothes, and knows which ones fit the best.

    Is it wrong that I brag about going to your wedding?

  2. sally said:

    Besides the blue skating dress, there was an awesome green terrycloth running suit (the jacket has been worn by many, many fashionable cats), a purple shiny ballerina outfit (too hard to put a cat in a one-piece), and a yellow windbreaker and jeans. The best part: everything had a hole for the tail.

  3. beth said:

    How did you get that photo of your student?

  4. sally said:

    You got extra credit on your final exam if you brought in a picture. I have a ton of them that I love, and it’s been about long enough that I could post some of my favorites. After several boys turned in pictures where they had their shirts off, I had to start giving a list of requirements.

  5. sally said:

    Oh hey! Someone will get a VERY SPECIAL GIFT from me if you can correctly identify the R. Kelly lyrics.

  6. The Diplomat said:

    would it be:

    So buckle up ‘cause this can get bumpy, babe
    Now hit the lights and check out all my functions,
    babe. Girl, back that thing up so I can wax it, baby
    Honey, we gon’ mess around and get a ticket, babe.

    I have a mp3 of bonnie prince billy doing ignition from their show at martin’s, if anyone’s interested.

    also, ignition seems to be the creative cousin of ee cummings’s she being brand new

  7. ms.comrade said:

    “mama rolling that body
    got every man in here wishing”

    now, let’s move on to a quiz about “sex in the kitchen” which i am sure you love as much as i do.

  8. ms.comrade said:

    ps. your cat’s eyes are so pretty and blue

  9. sally said:

    Ding ding! Ms. Comrade is correct. Diplomat, you used the lyrics from “Ignition,” not “Ignition (Remix).” And the fact that you thought you could just google your way to victory: shame on you!

    Ms. Comrade, expect something delightful in the mail next week.

  10. poobou said:

    I also had a Belle doll, with all of the outfits that you described. Except the yellow windbreaker & jeans, I don’t remember that one. I never tried to put them on our cat, probably because he would’ve scratched my eyes out. I did put some of those clothes on my other dolls, though, and I just pretended like the peek-a-boo tail hole didn’t exist.

  11. sally said:

    poobou, I have been killing myself trying to think of where I came up with a yellow windbreaker and jeans. Those were my Cabbage Patch Kid’s clothes! Also handy for dressing cats in.

  12. poobou said:

    That’s hilarious. I had 2 Cabbage Patch dolls – one had a blue onesie, and I don’t remember what the other one wore. (Something purple, I think.) But in the Cabbage Patch jeans, where did the cat’s tail go?

  13. sally said:

    I’m thinking that since CPKs have stumpy legs, I just put the windbreaker on the cat. I had two as well: one was a white girl with two long ponytails and bangs (I hated that she had bangs!) and one was a black boy with no hair and a pink and white striped onesie. I still have him. His name is Jed Cornelius. He lives in the guest room.

  14. poobou said:

    Yeah, my bald one (which was of course white, because my parents would never give their daughter an African-American doll, heavens no!) was a Cabbage Patch “Preemie”, and I loved it because it was so small & dainty compared to my other big, stupid, lumbering CPK. (Who was a girl with long brown hair in total Laura Ingalls yarn braids.) Now, of course, I look back & wonder how the hell they managed to make premature babies into a marketing strategy. It’s not exactly like that that’s a *good* thing.

    But look! It’s little! And therefore all the more twee and precious! Um, ok.

  15. sally said:

    Horrifying: I had a Cabbage Patch record where they sing songs and stuff, and there are three villains: Bo Weevil, Lavender McDade, and Cabbage Jack. Guess what Cabbage Jack does? He eats cabbages. Guess where CPKs come from? Cabbages. Therefore, he eats unborn Cabbage Patch Kids. I was grossed out when I was little, too, but that didn’t stop me from listening to the record.

    Here are the lyrics to Cabbage Jack’s song:

    Cabbages, cabbages, yum yum yum
    Cabbages, cabbages, gimmee some.
    Cabbages for breakfast, cabbages for lunch
    Cabbages all the time, munch munch munch.

  16. poobou said:

    Cabbage Jack scares the poop out of me.

  17. Libby said:

    i have that record, too and i’m dying to get the album on cd, but they don’t have it. see, i was in a play in 1st grade and my part was Sybil Sadie. yeah. try to suppress the jealousy. i understand.