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17 Jun 2005

Hit Me, Baby, One Last Time.

Written by sally @ 6:58 am — Section: sally

I’m not going to devote a lot of space to the boring spectacle that is Hit Me Baby One More Time, but for the second week in a row the most horrible of the performers has won.

Again, former stars perform their biggest hit, then perform a popular song from today. I only even turn it on during the second half, since it is by far the more interesting.

Briefly: Wang Chung did Nelly’s “Hot in Herre,” and damn if it wasn’t awesome. They had the perfect blend of irony and pure entertainment fun going for them. Sophie B. Hawkins apparently thinks that someone still cares and did Five for Fighting’s “100 Years” as if she were a jazz chanteuse and/or one of Marge Simpson’s sisters. All my notes say is this: GROTESQUE. Cameo did “1985” by Bowling for Soup, which was funny and sort of good. Howard Jones bored me to tears (much like he did in 1985 as well) with Dido’s “White Flag.” And then Irene Cara. Oh, Irene Cara.

First, some celebrity math to describe Irene Cara:

Carnie Wilson
Maya Rudolph

singing ability
Irene Cara

She stunk while singing her own song earlier in the evening, but the one she chose for the second half was by a singer I’ve never heard of: Anastasia? And she performed with her band, Hot Caramel, which was, uh, making their debut last night. You know how P. Diddy put together a girl band a few years ago and continues to try to do so on Making the Band? Just imagine that instead of nubile 20somethings, P. Diddy said, I want untalented, paunchy 40somethings, fronted by a one-hit wonder. That is Hot Caramel.

I went to take a quick shower halfway through their song because it sucked so much and I was confident that the audience would see the suckage as well.

I should not be surprised nor disappointed by the votes of the American public, but damn. Irene Cara and Hot Caramel freaking won.

I don’t think I can watch this show anymore. I was really only watching the last half as it was, but now, I think it’s over.

10 Responses to “Hit Me, Baby, One Last Time.”

  1. bulb said:

    It does make you wonder who comprises the studio audience, given their track record on voting.
    As to Hot Caramel, Irene retorts, “don’t you mean fronted by a two-hit-title-songs wonder/Grammy-award-winning artiste?!? Oh snap!”

    Now see if they could figure out a way to revive Milli Vanilli, then I’d watch this show with some interest.

  2. sally said:

    I think she actually won an Oscar for “What a Feeling.”

  3. bulb said:

    The Flashdance song won an oscar, a grammy, and a golden globe. Horrors. IC also won a grammy for best performance for the same song. She isn’t credited with the Fame Oscar because she didn’t write the song.

    No I didn’t know this, but it’s the consensus of various websites.

  4. gorjus said:

    Aw!! I wished I had seen the Howard Jones song. I like “White Flag” (despite boringness) AND him (also: despite boringness).

    Um. Am I lame because I don’t know who Maya Rudolph is? Because, I think I mite be.

  5. jaysus said:

    Maya Rudolph is only the hottest female regular on SNL since Jane Curtin. no big deal.

  6. gorjus said:

    OHHH, wait!! Hotty McFunny?? I know EXACTLY who she is now.

    Um, Jaysus? Jane Curtin? DUDE, come on. I’m a Lorraine Newman man, myself.

  7. bulb said:

    What about Elaine . . . I mean Julia Louis-Dreyfus?
    Not to mention Sarah Silverman’s one-year stint.

  8. jaysus said:

    it’s a shame that Sarah didn’t stick around longer. she is funny incarnate. and easy on the eyes, too.

  9. jp! said:

    jane curtain looked like a mom in 1978.

  10. Dr Wagner said:

    Howard Jones was fantastic both times. Wang Chung looked a little worse for wear. And Irene was damn terrible. Hot Caramel was abysmal. Cameo was surprisingly good even with the astrology thing. Their version of 1985 was good in that they reinterpreted the song and owned it. Wang Chung’s cover of Nelly? Akward and uncomfortable. Howard Jones won hands down, but I guess Hot Caramel appealed to something in the audience or their label paid for a win.