12 Oct 2004
I [Heart] Slate Magazine.
Slate asked novelists to weigh in on who they’re voting for in November. I read the results with fear, waiting for horrid explanations from writers I respect and love. Although the teaser on the front page reads, “Surprise: Some are for Bush,” I was glad to see that I’d never read anything by those people anyway.
Because I am a Slate junkie, you should also click here to read an interesting piece on a theory that when Bush says “Dred Scott,” he really means “Roe vs. Wade.” What? That’s what I thought. It’s something to consider, anyway.
I am also terribly, desperately in love with the story about the Dubya’s bulge. Sure, it’s probably nothing, but the story is pretty funny anyway. Mark my words: this is absolutely the only situation in which I would discuss the candidates’ bulges.
And this story is driving Larry absolutely bonkers: the one about Kerry allegedly saying that terrorism is a nuisance. Sure, he said those words within minutes of each other, but come on! Watch this:
Sally: George W. Bush is a wanker. Kerry is a non-wanker.
Spin: Sally J. Nordan supports George W. Bush. She is quoted as saying, “George W. Bush…is a non-wanker.”
Come on, dude.
October 12th, 2004 at 11:27 am
totally true. the dred scott mention was a shout out to the hardcore religious right.
as for the nuisance issue, you can blame the drudge report there.
as for the buldge, there’s more pictues out there. i want to do a little thing on my blog about it but i’m a little too busy. maybe i’ll be up to it later.
October 12th, 2004 at 3:23 pm
I’m no John Updike fan, but his pro-Kerry comments are razor sharp. I also love the fact that Daniel Handler (otherwise known as Lemony Snicket) is a Kerry person. Oh, and fun fact: Handler/Snicket played accordion on Magnetic Fields’ 69 Love Songs and conducted the interview with Stephin Merritt that forms the album’s gigantic CD booklet.
October 12th, 2004 at 3:31 pm
Have you read those Lemony Snicket books? They are way too sad for me. I tried reading the first one and was about to go into the backyard and find a suitable rock to kill myself with when I discovered that I could just stop reading.
October 12th, 2004 at 3:40 pm
I haven’t, but Little Ms. KoE adores them.
October 12th, 2004 at 3:46 pm
All rocks are subsequently being removed from the backyard and will be replaced with foam rubber reproductions.
October 12th, 2004 at 4:40 pm
An important addendum to this novelist list is E.L. Doctorow’s recent piece called “The Unfeeling President” in The Easthampton Star: http://www.easthamptonstar.com/20040909/col5.htm. Not too long and very worth the read.
October 14th, 2004 at 7:21 pm
Tallying up the various novelist’s votes was very interesting. The ones who are voting for Kerry are doing so for myriad reasons. The ones who are voting for bush are doing so for one reason: They think he is somehow more committed to killing terrorists and defending our country than Kerry would be. Which begs the question: Why is everyone a freakin’ ‘fraidy-cat cry-baby standing around quivering behind bush’s pantlegs after 9/11?!? Sure, it sucked big time. But good god, do people really think that one person who would be president is any less committed to fighting terrorism than the next person? Like Jason Alexander said (paraphrasing here) on Bill Maher’s show a few weeks ago, do people really think if elected that Kerry would wake up and say, “You know, terrorists aren’t that bad after all. I think I’m going to just ease off those guys, give them a break. Maybe they just need a hug.” Why did our once courageous nation turn into a festering pool of security moms and Democratic novelists who pee their pants in fright each day thinking about what “tha tarrists” are going to do to them?
Stiffen up people.