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7 Oct 2004

Delicious…Or Something.

Written by sally @ 8:54 am — Section: sally

I made a delicious dinner last night…well, delicious if you like burned things, excessively salty things, and bland things.

Burned: salmon
Excessively salty: roasted asparagus
Bland: couscous

Oh well.

Last night the anticipation leading up to America’s Next Top Model was ridiculous. I mean, who am I, anyway? At 6:30 I thought, only 30 more minutes! At 6:57 I thought I was going to wet my pants. Come on. I need to get a life.

Anyway, it was as rad as I expected. Every season, at some point fairly early on, all the girls get makeovers, but they totally don’t get a say in what happens to them. It’s more like, you! you’re a blonde and hey you, here is your new weave and hey, girl who thinks Crystal Gayle hair is hot, we are saving you from becoming 100% white trash by donating that mess to Locks of Love while you cry and protest and look ridiculous on television.

So that was good. Other non-surprises include that the stripper from Oklahoma has an eating disorder, that the spooky blind girl looks even more spooky with her new platinum hair and extensions, and that the judges are mean. I love this show.

I am reading Chuck Palahniuk’s Stranger than Fiction right now. It’s pretty good–it’s a group of essays, so if you get bored you can skip ahead. (I only skipped out on finishing the essays on wrestling and demolition derbies.) Chuck finds himself in wacky, wacky places, like the Rock Creek Lodge Testicle Festival, Marilyn Manson’s attic, and wandering around Seattle in a dalmation costume for no reason. Note: People are enraged by this, actually, and groups of young men punch Chuck in the kidneys repeatedly. After a day of this, he’s settled in:

By now, I don’t give a shit. This dog could walk around this way forever. Walking taller. Blind and deaf to people’s shit. I don’t need to wave, to pander and pose with kids for pictures. I’m just a dog smoking a cigarette outside Pottery Barn. I lean back, one leg lifted against the facade of Tiffany and Company. I’m just the Dalmation making a cell-phone call in front of Old Navy.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 7th, 2004 at 8:54 am and is filed under sally. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

14 Responses to “Delicious…Or Something.”

  1. poobou said:
    October 7th, 2004 at 1:20 pm

    I looooove roasted asparagus, but I always seem to over-salt when I make it. It’s a tricky one.

    I would like to see the dalmatian in Seattle, although I don’t understand why it would make people angry. Weird.

  2. Sally said:
    October 7th, 2004 at 1:22 pm

    I think it was because he refused to answer or wave at people. And he wasn’t selling anything. That seemed to REALLY bother people…because, you know, it’s more socially acceptable to look like an idiot for money instead of for sport.

  3. jp! said:
    October 7th, 2004 at 5:19 pm

    why in the name of ever loving fuck would you salt asparagus? some butter but that’s it. couscous should never be served alonealone.

    anyone read any hunter S. Thompson? that’s what i’m reading now.

  4. Sally said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 9:00 am

    Um, jp!? Asparagus needs a pinch of kosher salt when you’re roasting it. Note Poobou’s comment. Please accept my humble apologies for offending you and bland asparagus lovers everywhere.

  5. gorjus said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 9:11 am

    well, i think what he’s saying is that the butter is lightly salted itself–so it’s not bland.

  6. Sally said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 9:37 am

    Um, who said anything about butter? I sprayed the asparagus with olive oil, bizznatches! I needed some damn salt!

  7. la federala said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 10:39 am

    well.. a little bit of olive oil and lemon are fabu drizzled on the asparagus, but I cheat and use butter for the salt.

  8. gorjus said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 10:48 am

    exactly! so you don’t oversalt. trust us, sally: we’re the aspargaexperts.

  9. gorjus said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 10:49 am

    Expertagus.

  10. Sally said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 11:17 am

    Remind me not to post my other errors in cooking judgment, as I am sure there will be a flurry of very, very obvious, albeit helpful suggestions as to what went wrong. (“I put too much salt.” Response: “Dumbass, you put too much salt!!”) And before gclark cites me AGAIN for getting mad over stuff, check out the phrase “ever loving fuck” in regards to my ACCIDENTALLY putting a bit more salt on MY FOOD that NONE OF Y’ALL had to eat, but that LARRY enjoyed VERY MUCH as he is the KING OF SALT. I think the PHRASE was a BIT EXCESSIVE, much like the SALT.

    Does anyone want to come to dinner tonight? I’m serving my famous saltlick.

  11. vendela said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 11:31 am

    i would like to come to dinner. you and i and mrs floon and baby cas will come for a briney feast, as i love my meals not only hot, but chock full of saline. iodine overload. i’ll bring the pickles and bacon.

  12. larry ferrari said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 11:44 am

    In honor of this post I will be doing soy sauce shooters at lunch today.

  13. RD ( Mr. NaCl) said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 12:08 pm

    I read the reply with the caps and coffee shot out my nose. I, too, am down with the salt.

  14. Kicker of Elves said:
    October 8th, 2004 at 12:27 pm

    “sodiumyum@nacl.com” – haw haw haw!!