Yesterday Mrs. Floon was working late, and her husband called her on her cell phone. Mrs. Floon’s boss was in her office, and did not leave when the phone rang.

Mrs. Floon was trying to keep it short.

Mrs. Floon: Hi, what’s up. [note lack of question mark, as she did not actually ask a question, as she did not actually care what was up]
Mr. Floon: We have a major emergency at home.
Mrs. Floon: (thinking that one or both of their dogs is dead, missing, or injured; that the house is on fire, has flooded, or is in need of a Roto-Rooting; or that Mr. Floon has severed a limb or is otherwise disabled) What is it?
Mr. Floon: MY SNICKERS BAR HAS DISAPPEARED!

Mrs. Floon then hung up on him and tried to control her rage, which was futile, because she called Mr. Floon back after the boss left and screamed at him.

In unrelated news, did anyone watch Gilmore Girls last night? I have many things to say. One, Luke and Lorelai did it! Two, the thing with the horoscope in Luke’s wallet killed me. Three, Rory was wearing the cutest black boatneck sweater I have ever seen. And four, Paris’s line about her vagina not being responsible for her old man boyfriend’s death was awesome.

Also, I really wish you people would start watching America’s Next Top Model, because I want to talk about it soooo bad, but do not want to bore you. So please, give a girl a break. It’s on tonight at 7 on UPN. You will not be disappointed…well, okay, you probably will be. Here is a list of the things you can expect:

–Tyra Banks totally full of herself!
–wannabe models getting ripped on by excessively gay men, one of which has a tiny dog named Princess Minnie!
–wannabe models crying, mostly for no reason!
–one girl calling another “Mama” (she cried last week because they couldn’t room together)!
–Tyra Banks’s boobs!