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17 Dec 2018

2018 Roundup.

Written by sally @ 8:35 am — Section: sally

What a year. 2018, you were something! I’ve never cried so much in my life, but even though things were often rough, there was still so much good, and so much to be grateful for. What all happened, you ask? Let’s recap!

In the health arena, I had a breast lump situation (it was fine), I learned I have uterine fibroids, I flirted with the gluten thing, and I had heart surgery. I mean. That is a list. The worst part about all of it was that the heart surgery did not totally correct the issue, and I spent a lot of time grieving that fact. I guess I’m over it, as much as I can be. Maybe I’ll be more over it when I’m done paying off my medical debt? (Oh, let me tell you how grateful I am for health insurance.) Oh, and also I am most definitely in perimenopause, which is a wild ride. 19-day cycle, 33-day cycle, 28-day cycle…every month a new situation! There is no way to predict what will happen, or why my emotions are insane! Am I crying because I am truly hurt and upset…or is it my uterus trying to kill me? WHO KNOWS. NOT ME. I DO NOT KNOW. I will tell you this: it’s keeping me on my toes. Edited to add: I posted this, then immediately discovered that I bled through my dress. Haha!

In the family arena, my grandmother died. She just got worn out and then didn’t get better, but I’m grateful that I was able to see her almost every day while she was in hospice, and feed her her hideous lunch (whoever heard of pureed bread???!?!), and translate what she was saying to the rest of the family. She never lost her mind, and everything that needed to be said got to be said. I’m grateful that she accepted me as I am, and told me so. I am also grateful that during the eulogy, a die-hard-Republican family friend somehow worked in a statement about how Trump was ruining the country, which was just an unexpected gift. She was a fine old lady, and I wish I could talk to her again.

In the work arena, I had a stagnant, no-cool-projects year. I just didn’t think up anything fun to do. I did publish a chapter in a book and a book review in a newspaper, so all was not lost, and I have started a research project that I hope will one day turn into a book. I’m grateful to have a job where I have the luxury of being able to do fun projects when I happen to think them up. And I have a few planned for next year, so I’m looking forward to that!

In the relationship arena, I tried and failed. And kept trying, and kept failing. Maybe this calibration will work? Nope. Ok, let’s adjust this setting…still nope. While I’m using the word “fail,” I don’t see any sense in calling something a failure where there was love involved. What a gift to be able to love and be loved, even if it didn’t work out in the end! I’m grateful for all of it: the wonderful parts, and the shitty parts, and the parts where things just were without being wonderful or shitty.

Oh, and I know you were nervous about it, but I met my Goodreads challenge! I reread The Optimist’s Daughter for a work project (see, I told you I was starting to think up fun things for next year) and really loved it this time around. I think it was just what I needed: Laurel is a great role model for how to accept things. And speaking of reading, my favorite book this year was The English Patient.

Whew! I’m looking forward to 2019.

2 Responses to “2018 Roundup.”

  1. Bizaleth said:

    Wait…. heart surgery?

  2. sally said:

    A little cardiac ablation like all the kids are getting these days. I went home the same day! I just wish it fixed my dumb issue.