10 Apr 2017
I’m teaching a comp class this semester for the first time in a million years — it’s been 14 years since I taught ANY class and 17 years since I taught THIS class. I am loving it, as my students are surprisingly engaged and talkative. It doesn’t mean they are particularly good students who do the readings or anything, but at least they’re engaged in the classroom.
Three or four of them show up really early to class to just talk (like 30 minutes early), which is both annoying and fun. Annoying because I better be ready for class, but fun because these are 19-year-old boys who, instead of doing 19-year-old boy things, have elected to come to class early to talk to me and each other. It is during this time that I learn the most about them — namely that they are full of beans.
A few weeks ago, they were talking about how much they eat and one said that he once ate six Big Macs, two large fries, and a 20-piece nugget. That simply can’t be true, right?
A few weeks later he claimed he ate two and a half footlong Subway sandwiches. That was two footlong meatball marinaras and only half of a footlong sweet onion chicken teriyaki. That is 30 inches of sandwich. Think about the bread alone. 30 inches of bread. Then add a bunch of meatballs and stuff.
After this, another kid apparently thought, “This big eater kid is getting a lot of attention. Time to join the ring.” He said that in his hometown, there’s a pizza place called John’s where they have a challenge where if you can eat ALL of the mega giant pizza, you get it free. That’s a thing that restaurants have, ok. Let’s hear some more. He said it had a six-foot diameter.
My desk in this classroom is about five feet long. I asked him if he was actually saying that the pizza that he ate WAS BIGGER THAN MY DESK. He said yes. I asked what toppings were on it. He said it was meat lover’s. Hmm. There was a little grumbling from the others because somehow a six foot pizza was believable, but eating six feet of sausage, hamburger, and Canadian bacon was TOO MUCH. He said look, you can look it up.
However, he didn’t remind us the name of the restaurant at this point OR say where he was from. However however, I remember stuff! Not anything useful, like state capitols (Spike has a test today and our review session was prettttty pitiful last night), but I remember useless things like where this pizzaliar was from. So I said, “Ok, John’s Pizza in Ridgetown, got it.” And then he said, “Well, actually, I’m not sure they still do it.”
Anyway, I DID look them up, and they DO still do it, only the pizza has a 30-inch diameter, NOT A SIX-FOOT DIAMETER, which provides gluttons with 52 slices. I won’t mention it to him, but looking stuff up and proving people wrong is my hobby, and this whole thing brought me such satisfaction. The food talk, the lies, the facts — this teaching thing is awesome!
I just figured the calories for these three claims:
Big Mac Extravaganza: 5,318
Subway Festivities: 2,525
52 Slice Affair: 14,040