21 Aug 2013
I am not sure why I deleted this great post from 2004 about how I went to the health department to get a blood test before I got married, but it made me laugh this morning:
Two other ladies come in and sit a seat away from me. One has a baby; the other is her sister, I think. The one with the baby is very, very bossy. And knowledgeable. A toddler was, well, toddling around, and the bossy woman asked his mother, “How old is your baby?” (20 months) “Your baby is short. My baby is already walking. He’s five months.” Now, this I had to see. She actually stood the five-month old up on the ground, but of course he didn’t do anything but wobble and grip her hands.
Then the bossy woman turns to me and says, “Where you get your books?” “My books?” “Yes, your books.” “Um, Barnes and Noble?” I say. She points at my boots and says, “No, your buhts. Where you get your buhts.” Oh.
The bossy woman then stands her baby up on her lap and tries to make him say “Mickey D’s.” “Can you say ‘Mickey D’s'? Can you say it? Say ‘Mickey D’s,’ baby.” This is straight out of Super-Size Me. I wish Morgan Spurlock were here to see this. Then, in unison, bossy and her sister sing, “I’m lovin’ it.” Then they high five. I am not making this up.
Ok, so here is my favorite thing that happened with the bossy lady. She pulls out a can of Pizzalicious flavored Pringles. Then she feeds some to her five month old baby (you know, the one who can walk and all). Then she offers some to all the other babies in the room. Their mothers let the babies eat Pringles! All except the woman with the “short” baby. She says “no thank you” about five times, and then bossy tries to give the Pringles directly to the kid, and the mother repeats “NO THANK YOU” a few more times. It was awesome. Take that, Pizzalicious!