5 Jun 2013
In my old age (I’ll be 40 soon, y’all!), not only do I skew more towards honesty and sincerity* and away from negativity, but I find myself really being struck in the heart by the things I read, the things that are said to me. Even a song that I’ve heard a million times suddenly has tremendous power. (These lines from Catherine Wheel’s Here Comes the Fat Controller come to me when I feel myself falling into a pit: “Don’t you think your sarcasm’s a little hard to stomach?/Your cynicsm’s boring!”) I also find myself needing to explain this newfound-ish shift in attitude to longtime friends. Because when someone is all “everything is terrible” and I’m all “look at this as an opportunity!!!!!!” I feel I should justify it or else admit I’ve recently been abducted by cheery aliens. And if this conversation is via chat or text, I can do this justification with one simple hashtag:
In other words, I’ve decided I’m ok with being the decisive element after all (#5).
*When I was 14, I read a bunch of Allen Ginsburg poems and I swear there was this line, which I have been unable to find (though admittedly I haven’t tried very hard) (don’t judge my research emporiumist skills): “Sincerity is the key to bliss in this eternity.” I thought it was lame and wrote it down to guffaw at its lameness. Dear 14 Year Old Me: I am so sorry it’s come to this.