18 Apr 2013
In general, when I receive catalogs in the mail, I put them directly into the recycling pile. One reason is that the J.Crew catalog that arrives does not have clearance stuff that is also an additional 30% off in it, and that is the only way I buy things at J.Crew. (Sidenote: I did buy this perfect striped boatneck there a few years ago NOT on sale, and it was $30 or so, and I felt incredibly guilty for this extravagance, and then a few months into its life with me IT GOT A HOLE IN IT, so I will never do that again.) Same goes for Anthropologie — gorgeous catalogs, gorgeous stuff…that I will never buy.
However, I do love the Walter Drake catalog, filled with awesome things like unsupportive bras, bunion fixers, poorly personalized ceramic baby shoes, and containers that are specific to every fruit and vegetable. Did you not know that these exist? Well, I feel sorry for you keeping your half of an onion in a BAGGIE, you fool!
Anyway, I was looking at it this morning and saw a cap thingie you wear over your giant old lady hairdo at night and it reminded me that my grandmother used to wear a special silky kerchief thingie to keep her giant hair intact. She also had a special silky pillow that just went under her neck so as not to disturb the giant hair.
However, one time when she was visiting us she forgot her silky kerchief thing, and instead resorted to wearing her silky panties on her head.
This was also the trip where I found a postcard she was sending to a friend that said she had met a very handsome riverboat captain who had been taking her on dates to eat fried shrimp.
This is my heritage.