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30 Jan 2013

Downton Crabby (Season 3, Episode 4).

Written by sally @ 1:00 pm — Section: sally

Ckuuuchuuupp. Downton Abbey. (That first word is the sound of my discontent.)

Since last I wrote/vented, we’ve seen several things happen on Downton Abbey: notably, we saw Edith’s wedding not happen (Downton Abbey: Don’t Ever Expect to Actually See a Wedding, ‘Cause It’s Never Going to Happen [Sybil Mary Edith]), which, I don’t know, I’ve pretty much forgiven Edith for her understandably terrible sisterly behavior in Season 1. Mary has come out on top, has married the heir, has kept her dumb giant mansion castle thing, is the prettiest, etc etc. Is Edith’s perpetual bad luck payback for past misdeeds? Or does Edith not deserve to be happy because she is — not cute? First: she was given an old dude with a dead arm. But oh! That was not enough. Have him be super influenced by the family over and over again! And then not cancel the damn thing the night before, the morning of, or ten minutes before Edith walks down the aisle. Instead, humiliate her. I just think it’s rude, and dumbly predictable. Edith’s motivations for her misdeeds were understandable, whereas someone like O’Brien, who is just an asshole all the time for no good reason, is never punished.

Speaking of punishing, the death of the only nice human being who lives upstairs. Again, how RUDE. Why not kill Edith off in such a way? She could’ve finally married, been knocked up by Old Dead Arm, then DIED. Killing off the nice one who loves her husband and has shunned her dumb giant mansion castle thing-loving family is RUDE. Also rude: how terrible her hair has been, and how extra-awful it looked while she was laboring. Was that a grease wig she was wearing? RIP GREASE WIG.

While I’m on my rant, why are we supposed to care about Ethel the prostitute house maid again? I almost cared when the plot was ORIGINALLY INTRODUCED; reintroducing a not-beloved character feels weird. Is it sloppy? Is it planned? Will Downton become a house of ill-repute (fingers crossed)?

Speaking of Downton/doing it, Mary is totally using some early 20th century birth control method on the sly. That scene where Matthew’s all “Doctor, it’s about my weiner. Is there a chonce it’s defective?” was awesome. I do have to wonder why a man in the 1920s would ask an obstetrician about his weiner but I guess it makes a kind of sense if you don’t think about it too much.

I can’t even bring myself to rant about the neverending Bates storyline.

I have, like, 17 other things to complain about (why the handling of the estate is such a touchy topic — Matthew isn’t proposing burning the whole thing down; Daisy turning mean; everything Lord Grantham touches turns to barf, and yet he still thinks he’s right all the time) but instead, let us just think about the new footman. And also how O’Brien’s Bangs have a Twitter feed.

2 Responses to “Downton Crabby (Season 3, Episode 4).”

  1. mix said:

    Now that I know about that Twitter feed, my life is complete!

    What I don’t understand is why Mary keeps saying things (to Edith) like, “We’ll never like each other, but I guess we can hug since Sybil died.”

    She’s said stuff like that several times, but they never seem too annoyed with each other when she’s not saying that stuff. If there was more drama I’d get it, but as it is, it’s like…”Well, we spent an enjoyable afternoon in the drawing room, and you said something funny over dinner, but WE WILL NEVER LIKE EACH OTHER!”

    (Sloppy writing.)

    When are Carson and The Head Housekeeper Who Doesn’t Have Cancer going to finally get it on?

  2. Liz said:

    I was thinking the same thing about Mary and Edith. Poor Edith keeps half extending this olive branch and Mary is all, “No. We will never get along. Not even on your wedding day or over our dead sister’s body. Well maybe then for a few minutes, but don’t expect anything tomorrow.” Realistic or super bitchy? Thank you for the intro to the bang’s twitter feed. THANK YOU.