13 Sep 2012
It’s possible I’ve already exhausted this story via other social media — that is my biggest internet annoyance, the lack of original content across platforms — but alas, I wore a boa constrictor, and now you’re going to have to read about it.
I went to this superfantasticohmygodwhydidIevengettocometothis conference this week, wherein we were encouraged to think creatively and take risks and generally be washed in the awesomeness of research emporiumship. I had my doubts, but it didn’t take long for me to drink the Kool-Aid. (I had more trouble talking to other Kool-Aid drinkers, but look, this wasn’t a miracle working conference, ok?) Basically we all learned that it’s ok to have a weird idea that makes no sense, because even if you’re not going to go back to your emporium and start a dance troupe or start checking out jars of pickles or something, maybe the pickle idea will lead to another, more sane, more doable idea. So we did a lot of exercises where you think about the stuff that sucks about your workplace, and then you write down the opposite of that, and then you laugh because that is a silly solution, and then you think “hey wait maybe that’s not so funny” and then the world is awesome.
So then there was this portion of the day that was like the Amazing Race, and there were challenges and teamwork and when we dropped the marble in the marble race we didn’t scream at each other, we just screamed YES!!!!!!!! FAILURE!!!!!!!!! and started over and then there was a part where you have to be courageous and besides the boa there were worms, mice, and a tarantula, and then I wore the boa constrictor and it was disgusting and felt like a giant arm but in 90 seconds it was over and now I get to talk about it forever.
There was also a part with an inflatable obstacle course thingie, which was fine until I got to the top and the hose thing fell out, and the obstacle course lost its air, and it folded in on me and I was trapped inside, laughing hysterically. Then it dumped me on the ground, I scraped my elbow, I climbed back in that mofo and then when I came to the end I had to sit and pant for awhile.
In other words, I had a great time. I hope the story about the snake makes up for the fact that I took hardly any notes about my fellow conferencegoers, although I did meet a girl who got vajazzled for her 40th birthday AND a girl who once had a tarantula on her boob. Surely that’s enough for you people.