8 May 2012
Person 1: I’m going to die alonnnnnnnnne.
Person 2: Ooh, and maybe your cats will start to eat you before anyone finds your decaying body!
[Note: this is the only acceptable response to "I'm going to die alone."]
Person 1: That’s a really cute top.
Person 2: Thanks…although I have to confess something.
Person 1: Are you…are you a lesbian?
Person 2: No, this shirt is by Miley Cyrus.
Person 1: Don’t feel bad! My shoes are Reba McIntire. See? (rips off shoe, waves around in air)
Person 2: I never would’ve known!
Person 1: So where does one go to buy Miley Cyrus-wear?
Person 2: Wal-Mart.
Person 1: Of course!
Person 2: I have it in blue, too.