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25 Mar 2011

Eight Things from Oxford.

Written by sally @ 10:36 am — Section: sally

Hello! I write to you from the town of Oxford, Land of Delicious Foods and Also Me Having to Go to Walgreens to Get Some Mylanta.

I have been keeping a list of things to tell you about, but it is in the car, and that is all of 20 feet away, and that is just too far. I have eaten donuts, and lo, I am ill. (Enter Mylanta.) I will try to remember everything.

1. At Fred’s the other day, there were roughly 1,200 people in line (including me; I was buying cat food, pistachios, and a roll of Mentos). One cashier was working. She got on the intercom and said, “Renika, your smile is needed at the front” in a monotone. Several minutes later, Renika arrived at the front, sans smile. She came to the first cashier and just stood next to her for a minute, as if maybe the intercom call was just to ask her something, like “Did you watch American Idol last night?” Slowly, Renika understood that she was supposed to open a register.

2. Are you, in fact, watcing American Idol? I am. I am anti Stefano, Scotty and all the girls. I am pro James Durbin. I am neutral when it comes to Casey.

3. Can you eat a few Mentos? I can’t. I treat the roll as a serving size.

4. This morning my route through the Oxford Tuesday Morning parking lot, which is the best Tuesday Morning ever, was blocked by a garbage truck. He was trying to back up, but another big ass truck was in his way. HONK, the garbage truck said. The big ass truck ignored him. HONK HONK, the garbage truck said. The big ass truck’s tail lights came on and off. HONK HONK HONK, the garbage truck said. A man got out of the passenger side of the truck’s cab and said something to the garbage truck driver. He backed up enough for me to get by.

Later, as I was getting back in my car (with some Kuhn Rikon knives, what WHAT), the garbage man CAME UP TO ME and apologized for not being able to let me go through sooner! Oxford, as if I weren’t already charmed by your pastries and bookstores and Tuesday Morning shopping experiences!

5. Ohhhh, you should read An Invisible Sign of My Own by Aimee Bender…especially before the movie (!) comes out with Jessica Alba (!) in the starring role. I do not predict I will enjoy this.

I just started reading The Sherlockian, and lo, there is something about it that I loathe. I can imagine the author smirking and thinking, “I am so clever” as he wrote it. But I’m slogging through it until the thing that they are building to happens, and then I will decide if it the thing is intriguing enough to continue.

6. Hey, I got some contacts! This is only interesting to me. The new problem is that now I am able to truly see my hair for the first time in two years, and have discovered that it is just all wrong. Also it is getting grey.

7. Here is something that will blow your mind: Spike is almost three.

8. I always use this joke, but here it is again. Eight! Eight! I forget what eight was for.

3 Responses to “Eight Things from Oxford.”

  1. ap said:

    I saw this vanity tag the other day: GRTGPA3
    Do you think he is a great grandpa to 3 or proud of his grade point average? I couldn’t see the driver, but it was on a truck.

  2. Elizabeth said:

    Sally, I discovered my grays right after getting contacts as well. Maybe it is the “contact effect”. I have a hair appointment on Friday to remedy the situation.

  3. Dan said:

    I have been entertained with your post since about the time Spike arrived on the scene. Can’t wait til he is 6.