2 Dec 2008
So I was doing a little internet stalking, you know, the usual, and I Googled my ex-husband, Ted. His Facebook profile came up, and I felt dumb that I never searched for him there. So I click on it, and while I can’t see his whole page, I can look at his friends, and that is when I see it:
Ted is friends with my college boyfriend.
This would not be so weird had I lived in the same place my whole life. But the era of the college boyfriend was in Denton, Texas, and the era of Ted was in St. Louis. WHY ARE THEY FRIENDS. WHY WHY WHY.
I first imagine a self-absorbed universe in which Ted and the college boyfriend met in the Sally Nordan Broke My Heart Club chatroom. Then I think, wait, college boyfriend has a really common name. Let’s make sure this is really him. I am scrolling through his friends, oh, there’s his brother, there’s his old roommate — and then I see another crazy thing: he is friends with Ted’s wife, too! And that would mean that chatroom would’ve been really awkward.
I immediately emailed college boyfriend to ask in all caps why the hell he was friends with Ted. And he wrote back, thank god, that he had no idea. It turns out that they met last summer — IN ENGLAND — during some medieval seminar thing. When I emailed Larry to tell him this exciting news, he wrote: What is it with you and renaissance fair guys? I told him I was hot for the costumes: College boyfriend. Ted. Um, Ted’s costume would be in plus size.