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11 Oct 2006

Long Live the Tuesday Night Rollers!

Written by sally @ 3:50 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Last night — before I was assaulted by the sight of that lady’s gravy and douche purchase — I thought to myself, what night is it again? And when my brain answered, Tuesday night, the phrase Tuesday night rollers followed along, and so I thought I would tell you this mediocrely interesting story that I automatically think of when I hear the words Tuesday night together.

My freshman year of college, I lived in the loser dorm: it was really far away from the rest of campus (you had to take a shuttle!) and was populated by people who turned in their forms late OR had discovered that their original dorm was not air conditioned (people! Texas! in 1991!) and had said to their mothers, oh hale naw and then switched. The cool thing about the Loser Dorm was that it was co-ed, though, and not even, like, strictly separated co-ed, but fairly blended co-ed. I lived on the third floor, and the first and second floors were boys. This made sneaking one’s boyfriend in for the weekend fairly easy, especially when he needed to pee.*

Anyway, the boys and the peeing have nothing to do with this story, really.

Across the street from Loser Dorm was a field with a kind of steepish hill next to the sidewalk. For some reason, one night (a Tuesday night!) my roommate and this dude named Kirk* and I decided to roll down the hill a few times. So we’d lay down on the hill and start rolling, and each time we’d gather enough momentum that we’d roll right across the sidewalk and almost into the street, which was pretty much the exact level of thrill I am capable of. People often say to me, Hey Sally, I bet your college years were crazy, what with all the experimentation you did! And I say, Yeah, almost rolling into the street that one time was awesome!

Anyway, rolling around in the grass and almost getting hit by cars was so much fun that we decided that we would call ourselves the Tuesday Night Rollers and that every Tuesday night, we would meet at the hill and roll down it and almost get run over by cars! We would make sweatshirts! People would want to be a part of the fun but we would reject them! The Tuesday Night Rollers, man!

So the next Tuesday night rolled around (terrible pun intended) and it was raining — a cold and hard November rain (which had just come out!) — so my roommate and I were like, screw the Tuesday Night Rollers, and we put our sweatpants on because that it what you wear in November of 1991 in your dorm, and probably watched Roseanne or something.

About 30 minutes later there was a knock on our door. It was Kirk! And he was soaking wet! He had been standing around in the rain waiting for us! Poor Kirk! He was an idiot!

The Tuesday Night Rollers disbanded at that moment, and out of respect I have not rolled down a hill almost into traffic since. I get my thrills elsewhere, like putting paper in the copier and almost getting paper cuts.

*Of course, there was that one girl whose boyfriend just plain lived in her room and who would pee in jars.

**Kirk later became a source of much discussion after someone carved the words “Kirk is gay” into the fire extinguisher.

8 Responses to “Long Live the Tuesday Night Rollers!”

  1. Liz said:

    Love this story. Our dorms were completely mixed, with girls and guys on each floor. We had seperate bathrooms, though, unlike Willow’s dorm that had unisex ones. I tried to be cool with that, but really it turns out I’m a big square when it comes to showering with random dudes around.

  2. vendela said:

    wow, real-life co-ed dorms. i remember hearing about those. i used to have to sneak into my boyfriend’s room, but as it was located two-doors down from the lobby, that was no great feat. i remember once hearing through the walls another girl and her boyfriend getting into a fight because she wouldn’t pee in his trashcan. i also remember the time the guy next door put his CD player on repeat ALL NIGHT LONG, playing one song: Jane’s Addiction covering the Greatful Dead’s “Ripple”.

  3. corie said:

    was i the only one who went to a school with “shower hours”?

  4. sally said:

    I don’t know what that means. Is that when everyone takes a shower together? I might have a problem with that.

  5. corie said:

    it meant that there were certain hours where you and your partner could take a “shower” together and no one could complain.

  6. sally said:

    ARE YOU KIDDING. You went to a private college, didn’t you? That stuff doesn’t fly at the state school.

  7. corie said:

    erm…a private women’s college.

  8. herman rarebell said:

    never drink the apple juice from a dorm fridge.