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16 Aug 2006

Notes from the Sickbed.

Written by sally @ 7:00 am — Section: Uncategorized

I still have the flu and my fever is still pretty damn high. It’s getting old, I tell you.

Yesterday all I did was watch television, read (Chris Ware’s Acme Novelty Library, which does not make me a comic book nerd because there are no superheroes in it; and Flying Leap by Judy Budnitz, which I am in love with for many reasons — it’s excellent writing, first of all, and her world is a bizarre, yet totally rational place, and the picture of her on the back makes her look like an impish pixie, which makes the stories that much more fun/strange/awesome — and everyone I know (especially Kicker of Elves) should be watching the mail for photocopies of certain stories to be coming their way), and napped.

On the television front, the only thing halfway good I watched all day was Tabloid Wars. Are y’all watching this show? It’s less of a reality show and more of a serial documentary about what happens at the New York Daily News. I am fascinated, partly because it has confirmed my suspicion that I was not born to be a journalist. Sometimes I think, man, I should have gone that route lilke my dad said, but it is official: I am not cut out for the job. You have to talk to people. When they don’t want you to.

In high school I was on the newspaper staff (of course I was!), and one day our advisor had arranged for a Real Newspaper Man to come in and give us some pointers about the profession. One thing he said was that to succeed in journalism, you have to be a people person. My friend Carrie and I were writing notes back and forth on my folder during his talk, and we both started writing something. What she wrote: I love people. What I wrote: I hate people.

Besides Tabloid Wars, here are three awesome things I saw yesterday:

1. A commercial where an old man and woman are sitting at a table. The woman smiles at the man, and her teeth are GIGANTIC, HORRIBLE, AND MASSIVE. The man smiles at the woman, and his teeth are DISGUSTINGLY, DISPROPORTIONALLY SMALL. The next scene shows “his” and “hers” labels going onto denture-holding glasses. It is a commercial for the Dymo labelmaker.

2. On What Not to Wear, which is the meanest of all the makeover shows (I much prefer How Do I Look?), the mean gay says, as he is throwing all the poor frumpy lady’s clothes away, When you wear a short-sleeved, ribbed turtleneck, you look like one giant boob.

3. A commercial for a company that sells electric wheelchair things. An old country man is talking about the great service he got with whatever company it was. Then at the very end he says, Paw Paw has the coolest chair in town.

3 Responses to “Notes from the Sickbed.”

  1. poobou said:

    Sorry you’re sick, hope you feel better soon.

    I prefer the British version of “What Not to Wear” because they aren’t nearly as cruel. The American version is just too mean, I always feel sorry for the people instead of agreeing that they are, in fact, horrible dressers. (Which they are. But come on, a little compassion!)

  2. Lucy said:

    Feel better!

    1. Tabloid Wars is AWESOME. I sort of want to be a gossip columnist now.
    2. I effing HATE the Paw Paw-coolest chair commercial. It makes my skin crawl. But the mixed up teeth? Pretty effing funny. You’d think they wouldn’t need a label on the glass of their teeth to differentiate theirs from their spouse’s. But whatever. The mixed up smiles are worth the implausible premise.

  3. PrettyFakes » Blog Archive » Behind the Magick. said:

    […] So she’s not just sick, she’s mean! I keep meaning to vow that I’ll post everyday; I’ve done it before, and it lasted six or seven minutes before I broke it. But, eh, if it makes Sally happy, I’ll post utter trash five days a week! […]