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20 Jul 2006

Ten Things I Learned on Project Runway Last Night (While Sipping Yet Another Nina Colada Out of a Coconut-Shaped Cup).

Written by sally @ 10:13 am — Section: Uncategorized

1. That legs are so important, according to Keith Michael/Michael Keith/whatever. And that he is so creepy. (That scene, btw, was this season’s version of Daniel Franco + Heidi + “lovemaking.”)

2. That Angela, who is a contestant on a show where people have to draw and then create things, doesn’t sketch. As in, hello, Miss USA, I’m here to show you my sketch of the gown I’d like to design for you, but “I don’t sketch.” You’re going to be great at this! Also, I hate you.

3. That there’s a contestant from the hit band the Spin Doctors on the show! If you want to call me baby, well, go ahead then.

4. That after Malan told the (uh, made up) story about how his mother threw his sketches on the ground and told him he’d never amount to anything, Gorjus told the true version by starting, When I was growing up in Indianapolis…

5. That I was wrong about how Vincent = the Fonz. Vincent instead = Laverne DiFozzio.

6. That Tim Gunn made me swoon when he told Malan that his dress “looked like it was carved out of a big log.”

7. That Laura McBreastbone made me laugh when she said about her dress, “This cannot be here and look like she’s pooping.”

8. That Neckface firmly established that he is straight from 1994 when he used the term “feminazi” in all seriousness.

9. That according to Gorjus, Vera Wang looked “like a bad guy in an Ang Lee movie.”

10. And that the only thing I can figure about who got booted off is that he was responsible for creating something ugly and was punished for that, and based purely upon the runway portion of the show, his work was uglier than the other person’s. Even though she is lame and didn’t sketch or sew or do anything but wear terrible Cyndi Lauper outfits. Seriously: a red tutu and combat boots?

P.S. The person who got booted was robbed, even if he does use a fat Sharpie for sketching.

9 Responses to “Ten Things I Learned on Project Runway Last Night (While Sipping Yet Another Nina Colada Out of a Coconut-Shaped Cup).”

  1. vendela said:

    robbed i say! herman was speechless, and kept trying to convince the TV to change its mind because: “but she didn’t even have an IDEA in the first place…she doesn’t SKETCH….she did nothing, i say….and nothing + nothing = NOTHING!!!!!!!!!”

    plus, mr. sassy trash would have been so much fun to watch. i mean, did anyone see his final camera diary display of emotion? it was absolutley awesome.

  2. Kedar said:

    Points I completly agree with:

    1. Was it just me or did Keith Michael/whatever hang on to Miss America’s torso forever? But you have to admit the look in his eyes was…. confusing?

    2. Angela not bringing a sketch and babbling about ‘here are my questions’ reminded me of a kid who didnt do his homework in school and was trying to explain how it was more educational that way.

    9. I think Vera Wang is trying to show that her gowns can also be worn by men. By example.

  3. poobou said:

    Question about Keith Michael: is he gay or straight? Either way, I really wanted him to stop grabbing Miss USA’s boobs and talking about her legs with lustful eyes.

    I’m so glad I’m not the only person who heard Malan’s story and instantly thought that it was made up. Everything else about him is fake, down to his perfectly-waxed eyebrows, so why not that?

    Still, as much as I can’t stand Malan (I hit my husband every time he was on screen because dear god, make it stop!), Angela needs to go away.

    Also: I heart both Kayne and Robert.

  4. Jaxxie said:

    I have a bizarre, uncharacteristic maternal affection for Milan. So when he told his fake-story, I allowed myself to fake-believe it.

    And when he got booted????
    I literally burst into tears, HOWLING “Nooooooooo!”

    I can’t believe the producers made that bogus decision so that they could fill the role of “The Bitch.”

    Judging by the way Heidi said “YOU FAILED” so emphatically to Angela, I bet she feels the same way.

  5. neola said:

    has vera wang been playing in the kid-safe scissors again?
    i really wanted malan to stick around and end up duking it out with Detroit and Sternum.

  6. Liz said:

    Also, let’s keep in mind that Angela was the one who said that she made gowns the way “women make babies.” And no one “doesn’t sketch.” You can sketch badly, but you can’t NOT sketch.

    I was good and stayed away from your site all of yesterday, but then at the end of the day I thought, well I can go back and read the comments of the Drunk Haircut post. And I was so burned! That’ll teach me about giving into temptations to read your blog.

  7. herman rarebell said:

    i’m still baffled by the milan boot. sure, he sucks, and that dress looked like it was indeed carved from a log – or a giant godiva truffle – but he makes for good tv. every time santino crapped all over the runway, yet avoided the axe, at least you knew it was for the sake of good tv. but angela just sux. she’s just lame and complains a lot. milan on the other hand has a fake british accent and mother story. i was really looking forward to screaming “MOTHER!!!!” in mock anguish every time anyone questioned milan. i guess now i’ll just have to settle for shouting “TUTU!!!” every time angela whines.

    and thank you, sally, for getting my household hooked on this show. i tried to get into “final fu” the other night. but it doesn’t appear to live up to the awesomeness of it’s title.

  8. Polly said:

    I think, at least in the first few weeks, win or lose (for the 2 in question) comes down solely to who’d make better TV to keep on the show. that being said, they STILL chose wrong!

  9. the jump said:

    malan=tim curry in annie+the yes guy from the simpson’s+alan cumming in anything. and what does angela equal? a hot mess with an eternal bad hair day and a tutu. angela, i’m sorry L7 broke up, but it’s time to let it go.

    in the immortal words of neckface (whose neck tattoo, by the way, says ‘harrison, detroit’ on the top and ‘the love of my life’ on the bottom in franco-italian – it doesn’t say ‘douchebag supreme’ as i had originally thought), take your macaroni art and go home.