20 Jul 2006
Ten Things I Learned on Project Runway Last Night (While Sipping Yet Another Nina Colada Out of a Coconut-Shaped Cup).
1. That legs are so important, according to Keith Michael/Michael Keith/whatever. And that he is so creepy. (That scene, btw, was this season’s version of Daniel Franco + Heidi + “lovemaking.”)
2. That Angela, who is a contestant on a show where people have to draw and then create things, doesn’t sketch. As in, hello, Miss USA, I’m here to show you my sketch of the gown I’d like to design for you, but “I don’t sketch.” You’re going to be great at this! Also, I hate you.
3. That there’s a contestant from the hit band the Spin Doctors on the show! If you want to call me baby, well, go ahead then.
4. That after Malan told the (uh, made up) story about how his mother threw his sketches on the ground and told him he’d never amount to anything, Gorjus told the true version by starting, When I was growing up in Indianapolis…
5. That I was wrong about how Vincent = the Fonz. Vincent instead = Laverne DiFozzio.
6. That Tim Gunn made me swoon when he told Malan that his dress “looked like it was carved out of a big log.”
7. That Laura McBreastbone made me laugh when she said about her dress, “This cannot be here and look like she’s pooping.”
8. That Neckface firmly established that he is straight from 1994 when he used the term “feminazi” in all seriousness.
9. That according to Gorjus, Vera Wang looked “like a bad guy in an Ang Lee movie.”
10. And that the only thing I can figure about who got booted off is that he was responsible for creating something ugly and was punished for that, and based purely upon the runway portion of the show, his work was uglier than the other person’s. Even though she is lame and didn’t sketch or sew or do anything but wear terrible Cyndi Lauper outfits. Seriously: a red tutu and combat boots?
P.S. The person who got booted was robbed, even if he does use a fat Sharpie for sketching.