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19 Jul 2006

Don’t Drink and Groom.

Written by sally @ 10:37 am — Section: sally

So it is possible that last night, after Larry had had several beers, I heard a buzzing sound coming out of the bathroom.

People: he got drunk and cut his own hair.

A few weeks ago he very carefully and soberly used his buzzy clipper things to cut his own hair, and for the most part he did a good job. However, that soberness and carefulness were abandoned completely last night. I was going to ignore the whole thing (although I did leave the broom outside the bathroom door), until he said, Uh, Sally? Can you come in here and help me? and I saw the state of things.

On one side of his head, he gave himself a sweet skater ‘do where the whole side of his head is shaved almost down to the scalp. And in the back, he gave himself an interesting new hairline that resembled stairs.

Sally: What happened here?
Larry: (sadly) I don’t know.
Sally: What size guard were you using?
Larry: Guard?
(pause)
Larry: I might have forgotten to use a guard.

Also, let me say that everything in the bathroom was covered in hair, including Larry. Big clumps were sitting on his shoulders, and other big clumps were caught in the waistband of his pants (he was shirtless). About this time, Lulu and Pete got into it and Lulu made a dying dog sound effect. Larry ran out of the bathroom to examine her injuries but I pushed him back in.

Sally: (shrieking) TUFTS! TUFTS! THERE’S NO COMING INTO THE LIVING ROOM WITH FALLING TUFTS!

Larry then stood at the edge of the living room and whimpered with his arms outstretched dramatically towards Lulu, who had forgotten the whole incident and was busy chewing on her butt.

I managed to even out Larry’s hair pretty well, although he has a hilarious new hairline in the back that’s about 2 inches above where it should be. However, we have all learned a valuable lesson regarding alcohol and electric grooming tools.

7 Responses to “Don’t Drink and Groom.”

  1. Liz said:

    haaa! Aw, poor Larry. At least there were no initials or anything shaved in. Or any eyebrow casualties.

  2. Professor Fury said:

    You have to admire Larry’s instincts, here: he totally forgets his personal pate-maiming when Lulu is in danger. Bravo, Mr. Ferrari. Bravo.

  3. corie said:

    You totally should have shaved a vanity plate acronym into his head. And then shared pictures.

  4. poobou said:

    The image of you screaming “TUFTS!” has totally made my day.

  5. vendela said:

    explain how he created stairs. please!!! that will make MY day.

  6. larry ferrari said:

    It is a perfectly fine haircut…now. Thanks to Sally’s help. Guys in L.A. and New York are pay $75 for haircuts far worse than this one. If this architecture thing doesn’t pan out, I am going to barber college.

    Pete has been running through the house and when Lulu least expects it, he bites that tendon on her hind legs behind her knee. It really hurts. Pete has really been pissed off about something lately, and he is taking it out on all of us.

  7. vendela said:

    maybe he’s pissed because malan got the boot. i mean, he had a real future as mr. sassy trash, and i feel personally robbed.