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27 Apr 2006

Television Booting Shockers!

Written by sally @ 10:16 am — Section: sally

Last night, oh, last night, so many annoying people were sprung from their respective reality show prisons.

First, can we talk about Kellie Pickler finally getting booted from American Idol? She butchered “Unchained Melody” Tuesday night. BUTCHERED. It was like…me singing. But with a giant pompadour. I am so proud of you, America, for not falling for her routine! Go USA! Rah rah!

Ok, and then on Top Model? Who saw this coming? No one! Nnenna! Nnenna was booted! She is gorgeous. Perhaps the most naturally beautiful contestant they’ve ever had. But her photos are boring! And, ha ha, they kept Furonda over you, Nnenna! FUR-ON-DA. That’s got to hurt.

Also: I am in love with Joanie.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any better, who gets booted off Top Chef? America’s Next Top Sommelier! It was like Christmas and my birthday and Confederate Memorial Day all rolled into one! The wedding challenge was the most stressful challenge ever. I had to punch Larry in the arm a couple of times because the pressure was getting to me. Even more insane is that Larry punched himself in the arm as well.

And I was very, very glad that Lost was one of those lame catch-up shows, because if I had to sit in front of the television for three straight hours I would’ve felt really bad about myself and would’ve had to swear off tv night, which I cannot do because tonight I must find out if Bruce’s constipation was bad enough to get him removed from Survivor entirely or if he was allowed to be on the jury. Pressing questions, people, pressing questions.

8 Responses to “Television Booting Shockers!”

  1. Christy said:

    Ahhhhh! You need spoiler alerts! I haven’t watched Top Chef yet. But just tell me this – did his lips pop from agony when he was kicked off?

    I too was disappointed/relieved to see Lost was a montage show. What do you want to bet I’ll probably watch it later anyway? So sad…

  2. sally said:

    His lips were on the verge of popping, but you know how everyone else, when booted, says “thank you” to the judges? Mr. Sommelier did not. Katie even asked, “Do you have anything you want to say?” and he said no. Heh.

  3. gorjus said:

    What?? Nnenna?? I totally expected that she was going to win, or at least make it farther along. I mean, FURONDA??

    This is possibly a case of Top Model being the Top Suck. I mean, look at the “famous” people it’s graduated. Nnenna v. Furonda = Nnenna. It’s that simple.

  4. Lucy said:

    Man, you’re right. Last night was awesome. Joanie and Danielle are my love interests on ANTM, and I think they TRIED to make Nnenna look bad: why was she the only mermaid with long sleeves?? But, good riddance. Similarly good riddance to Stephen, and Leigh Ann is lucky that he was such an obvious tool.

  5. larry ferrari said:

    The funniest scene from Top Chef was when the rest of the contestants were cowering under his upper lip for shelter from the rain while they were out back for a smoke break.

    I kept nudging Sally, saying, “Jesus, look at those things. It looks like there’s a fish hook in that lip and somebody is reeling him in.”

  6. Christy said:

    New theory. Stephen is the unholy spawn of Jocelyn Wildenstein and Alexis Arquette.

  7. The Diplomat said:

    I have this crazy little fantasy that when Pickler and Stephen were going back to whence they game, Stephen to his provenance, Kellie to her warren, that they met in the dining car of the eastbound train heading out of california and, soundtracked by the train’s plangent wails that only served to accentuate their acidic lonliness, fell into conversation over buttery ham sandwiches and even butterier chardonnay. They cried on eachother’s shoulders and fell into a childishly 17th century kind of love. Vowed by serve and obey. Wedding day amuse bouche of calimari, tarantula and salmon.

  8. sally said:

    Oh, Diplomat, I love it when you drink.