12 Oct 2012

I Can Do You One Better!

Written by sally @ 2:15 pm — Section: sally

A few months ago, some folks I was eating dinner with were talking about their favorite New Orleans experiences. One lady’s grandmother lived there and she had essentially grown up there, but her favorite memory from childhood was this: she was playing outside, and a limousine drove up. The back window was rolled down, and inside was Truman Capote, smoking a little lavender cigarette. To me, this is a perfect story. Another lady at the table said, “I can do you one better! The first time I went to New Orleans, we saw a naked lady on Bourbon Street!” What? No. Limousine Truman Capote with a Lavender Cigarette trumps a naked lady on the street where one is pretty likely to see a naked lady.

It’s been gnawing at me (the story, not a naked lady…although that would be a better blog post, probably).

I think I’ve read zero books since I posted last. Started a few (Myla Goldberg’s The False Friend, whatever the second Discovery of Witches book is called, Wesley Stace’s Charles Jessold, Considered as a Murderer) but then let them languidly fall from my hand as I fell asleep. I haven’t really watched tv in months, although I DID have strep throat last week, during which time I watched all the tv. My new favorite show is Couples Therapy on VH1. This season (I regret that I missed last season, but I just looked online and I don’t know any of those people anyway) features Alex and Simon from the Real Housewives of New York! And Courtney Stodden and that guy! And besides the train wreck quotient, everyone (besides Courtney) seems to be actually, at least 35%, invested in making their relationships better. Think Rock of Love if Bret Michaels was all “tell me about the lowest point in your relationship” and “how did that make you feel?” and “he’s trying to open up to you here.” In other words, perfect reality tv.

What else has been going on? Let’s see, I took a few more work trips (in one, my suitcase got lost ON A DIRECT FLIGHT and I thought I was going to have to wear the same pair of underwear all weekend…but then I went to Urban Outfitters and bought some cute, but made-for-people-with-different-by-which-I-mean-smaller-butts underwear, as my butt just plain old FALLS OUT of this underwear), I got a divorce, I rearranged every piece of furniture in the house. You need your head to be in the southwest corner of the bedroom in order for love to come to you; don’t you people read feng shui books and assign random importance to the elements that make sense and that are easy to implement? Bowl of mandarin oranges in the foyer: no. Rearranging the bed: yes. So that happened, and lo, now it is over, and lo, now we can all figure out what normal is again. (Spike is doing very well so far; thanks for asking.)

Other thanks: several people wrote me long and awesome emails full of positive thoughts and jokes and offers to visit them at Lake Tahoe over the fourth of July…and I just could not respond. I apologize! Hopefully if you all are reading this you’ll be all “Aww, I TOTALLY forgive Sally” and not “So she could write a blog post but couldn’t write me back? It was TAHOE, hello.” Anyway, thank you for your kind words; words are high on my list and I continue to appreciate yours.

Also, seriously, in what universe does a naked lady trump Truman Capote?