14 Nov 2007

Tell Me Why!

Written by sally @ 3:33 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Fellow DVR-ers, let me tell you something: you need to start recording 120 Minutes off of VH1 Classic. It’s usually on at like 3 in the morning on random days of the week, and when you feel like watching tv but cannot handle another police procedural — actually, this never happens; I am always in the mood for another police procedural — you will have two glorious hours of videos from bands you used to love.

Larry and I have been doing this lately, and people: it is delightful. Last night we got to see lots of great things, like the Smiths’ incredibly boring video for “There Is a Light That Never Goes Out” and the Boomtown Rats’ video for “I Don’t Like Mondays,” which led Larry to say, “I’m surprised you know this song,” which enraged my 80s sensibilities and led me to snottily pontificate upon the new wave/alternative music radio options in Dallas in the mid- to late 80s, which I’m sure he wanted to hear.

In other news, you know that Project Runway starts tonight, right? I don’t care if she doesn’t know how to put a diaper on correctly; I love the Klum.

13 Nov 2007

I Know Someone Who At Least Should Read the Side of the Box.

Written by sally @ 5:54 pm — Section: Uncategorized

So I was reading the first chapter of How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read by Pierre Bayard online, and this paragraph is not only true, but also fills me with dread/makes me have hives:

Reading is first and foremost non-reading. Even in the case of the most passionate lifelong readers, the act of picking up and opening a book masks the countergesture that occurs at the same time: the involuntary act of not picking up and not opening all the other books in the universe.

I have felt that guilt before — that by reading this book, I’m not reading all the other great books out there. I generally have this feeling when I start a really stupid book. HELLO GREAT WORKS OF LITERATURE! I SHUN YOU FOR THIS TREACLE.

In other news, I read that today on Ellen, Heidi Klum said that Britney Spears taught her how to use a diaper correctly. From Us Weekly‘s website:

“We were talking about babies and diapers and she explained to me a lot of things about diapers I that didn’t know,” Klum told DeGeneres.

“You know these sticky things on the side? I never knew that they were there. To close them in the front, I was always putting string around. I had no idea,” Klum said.

Please note the part where she says a) she didn’t know how to use a diaper and b) that she used to tie string around her babies.

12 Nov 2007

Happiness Is…

Written by sally @ 6:51 pm — Section: sally

As I was driving home after my exciting and patriotic Veterans’ Day trip to the Dollar Tree, I saw a girl running and skipping barefoot down Riverside Drive. She would run a few steps, fling out her arms, kick a leg, do a twirl, then run a few more steps. I went to college with a lot of people like her. (There was one girl in my biology called named Cinnamon. Her last name was Crispin or Crispy or something that went extremely well with Cinnamon — went extremely well if she were a pastry, anyway.) Anyway, I was equally annoyed and relieved that apparently the twirling, barefoot happy breed has not died out completely, but is at least alive in well in Belhaven.

11 Nov 2007


Written by sally @ 7:38 pm — Section: sally

Is it a sign that I am a very old lady that the fact that the checker and the bagboy were both singing “Smooth Criminal” at the store today really, really got on my nerves? So much so that I vaguely considered telling on them? Yes? I thought so. Good times.

10 Nov 2007


Written by sally @ 7:30 pm — Section: sally

The Departed was on tv tonight. Man. Have y’all seen this movie? I remembered that it was good, I remembered the part with Martin Sheen and the sploosh!, but other than that, it was all new. Leonardo, make more movies.

9 Nov 2007


Written by sally @ 7:29 pm — Section: sally


*Thank God I’m Not Putting a Fake Timestamp on This Post

8 Nov 2007

More Blog Bandwagonning.

Written by sally @ 11:59 am — Section: Uncategorized

I’m doing the [your age] x 365 thing, where I’m writing 34 words about a person I know every day for the next year. It’s over on the sidebar, or you can click here.

7 Nov 2007

Dream A Little Dream…of a Squirrel Named Nirwa.

Written by sally @ 2:25 pm — Section: sally

Last night I was digging around in the guest room closet trying to find something to wear to work today — clothes are becoming a problem for me — and I came across my dream journal. If you already know how boring it is to hear other people’s dreams, get ready for some fun! If you don’t know this already, read on. (more…)

6 Nov 2007

Dear Diary…

Written by sally @ 4:59 pm — Section: sally

I have always thought that it was important to accurately remember the dead. It’s so easy to immediately make a dead person into a saint, but I think to truly honor someone, you should remember their entire personality.

My friend Jonas died in a car accident in 1996, and while he had many fine qualities — pretty hair, a generous spirit — he was also The Most Overly Dramatic Person in the History of the World. People: he took me to a graveyard to announce that he had lost his virginity. While I love that story, in real life his melodrama aggravated me, and I want to always hold on to that aggravation. It was just such a big part of who he was. And what the rest of us talked about when he wasn’t around.

However, however, I can’t stop thinking about “The Ethicist” column in this week’s New York Times Magazine. Want a guaranteed way that your friends and family will remember just how horrible a person you were? Have a clause in your will that requires your executor to send transcriptions of your fury-filled diary entries to the people you were furious with! Ho ho, what a grand idea!

I have been thinking about a) what sort of person this must’ve been and b) what the dead lady said about the lady who wrote the letter to The Ethicist and c) how it would feel to receive such a rant from a dead friend and d) how do you go about selecting the passages? and e) isn’t your diary where you write the really mean things that you don’t necessarily always believe? and f) what sort of person this must’ve been.

5 Nov 2007

My Life in Doritos.

Written by sally @ 4:03 pm — Section: sally

Junk food update: I am over puffy Chee-tos and have moved on to my first love, Nacho Cheese Doritos. I feel stupid typing out the “Nacho Cheese” part, because for me, there is only one. You Cool Ranchers out there? Losers. And dear god, could someone hold my hair next time I see the commercial for the Doritos that are — ahem — Wing and Blue Cheese flavored?

I haven’t had a Dorito in awhile, maybe even all year. But I just ate some, and now I clearly remember why all I ate for lunch in 7th grade was the following:

1 bag Nacho Cheese Doritos ($.50)
1 Coca-Cola ($.50)

My friend Michele ate the same thing, only with a Dr. Pepper, and because I don’t really like the Doritos that are heavily coated in orange glory, I’d trade her my orangiest ones for her barest ones.

I think those are all the stories I have about Doritos. I’ll let you know if something else occurs to me.

This boring post brought to you by NaBloPoMo.

4 Nov 2007

Sunday Report.

Written by sally @ 7:17 pm — Section: sally

I have to say, this has been a pretty enjoyable weekend. Here are some of the factors involved in my assessment as such:

1. Lunch at the Cherokee.
2. Seeing The Darjeeling Limited.
3. Picking up dinner from Hamil’s (and running into Poobou‘s parents!).
4. Falling back! Fall back kicks spring forward’s ass.
5. Doing six loads of laundry before 12 today.
6. The fact that as I write this, the smell of 40, er, 50 cloves of garlic roasting happily in a pan with a chicken has filled the house. Thanks, Larry!
7. OH MY GOD he made tiramisu, too. Although I’m hoping he used up all the garlic in the chicken dish.
8. That is all.

3 Nov 2007

Vanity Tag-a-Go-Go.

Written by sally @ 9:19 pm — Section: sally

Larry: Hey, look at that tag. H-P-P-Y-G-R-L.
Me: Aw, she’s a happy girl.
Larry: Happy? She’s not happy. She’s a hippie.
Me: A hippie wouldn’t have a vanity tag.
Larry: Oh, she’s a hippie all right.
Me: No, she’s not! She’s wearing a baseball cap! Hippie girls do not wear baseball caps! Happy people wear baseball caps. Let’s follow her and she which one she is!
Larry: (sighs, turns down different parking lot aisle)

In the same parking lot, we saw a car with not only airbrushed fairies all over it, but a tag that said QT BABY.

2 Nov 2007


Written by sally @ 9:06 pm — Section: sally

I made this joke up several years ago and still think it’s quite good:

Q: What’s similar about King Tut and a guy who eats beans?
A: They have Tutenkhamen.

Awesome! I know.

I will spare you the jokes from that one time in 1997 the Floons and gclark and I were driving back from Tupelo and we decided to make up jokes about spices. (gclark, btw, did not participate, nor did he think we were funny. To him I dedicate the joke about mustard seed.)

1 Nov 2007


Written by sally @ 4:35 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Seeing as it’s National Blog Posting Month and all, and seeing as I’ve already posted every day for an entire year, I’m in.

Edible Things I Should Be Enamoured with As of Late Seeing As I Am Busy Growing a Person Right Now:

1. carrots
2. nutrients
3. vitamins
4. minerals
5. wheat germ (more…)

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