31 Jan 2007

Snack Math.

Written by sally @ 11:23 am — Section: sally

I had high hopes of posting something not about television, then gave up on that and wrote a dissertation on Studio 60, then deleted that because in the process of writing that I overdosed on snacks. (more…)

30 Jan 2007

Anatomy of a Terrible Outfit.

Written by sally @ 3:46 pm — Section: sally

bad outfit.jpg

(more…)

29 Jan 2007

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Robots.

Written by sally @ 10:07 am — Section: Uncategorized

(more…)

25 Jan 2007

One Day, I’m Going to Read a Book Again.

Written by sally @ 10:52 am — Section: Uncategorized

Oh, geez. I love tv. (more…)

24 Jan 2007

Letters to Television Shows.

Written by sally @ 12:14 pm — Section: Uncategorized

(more…)

23 Jan 2007

Overheard in Jackson.

Written by sally @ 1:23 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Girl: Why doesn’t she just steal a car and drive it into the river?
Boy: Because you can’t get drugs that way.

22 Jan 2007

It’s Monday. Here Are Some Nuggets.

Written by sally @ 12:13 pm — Section: Uncategorized

(more…)

18 Jan 2007

I’m Like, Why Am I Eating the Carpet?

Written by sally @ 9:35 am — Section: Uncategorized

Dear Everyone Who Hates Marcel,

Did you like last night’s Top Chef? Because I didn’t.

Love,
Sally

P.S. Elia is prettier bald than with hair.
P.P.S. A chicken liver truffle? Kill me now.

16 Jan 2007

Live Blogging (Sort of) the Season Premiere of American Idol.

Written by sally @ 9:09 pm — Section: Uncategorized

(more…)

You Had Me at “Ass-Flavored Muffin.”

Written by sally @ 10:53 am — Section: sally

Why you should read Don’t Get Too Comfortable: the Indignities of Coach Class, the Torments of Low Thread Counts, the Never-Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems by David Rakoff: because of passages like the one below.

All of the designers I have met up to this point have been very nice, although upon being introduced to Karl Lagerfeld, he looks me up and down and dismisses me with the not super-kind, “What can you write that hasn’t been written already?”

He’s absolutely right, I have no idea. I can but try. The only thing I can come up with at that moment is that Lagerfeld’s powdered white ponytail has dusted the shoulders of his suit with what looks like dandruff but isn’t. Also, not yet having undergone his alarming weight loss, and seated on a tiny velvet chair, with his large doughy rump dominating the miniature piece of furniture like a loose, flabby, ass-flavored muffin overrisen from its pan, he resembles a Daumier caricature of some corpulent, inhumane oligarch drawn sitting on a commode, stuffing his greedy throat with the corpses of dead children, while from his other end he shits out huge, malodorous piles of tainted money. How’s that for new and groundbreaking, Mr. L?

11 Jan 2007

Why Top Chef was Awesome Last Night.

Written by sally @ 10:51 am — Section: Uncategorized

1. Marcel rapped. Kind of.
2. Ilan’s dickishness bit him in the ass. I hate people like him: he’s more interested in pissing Marcel off (which, by the way, doesn’t seem to be working) instead of in creating good food. And the part where he wanted Elia to throw the challenge? HE IS A BAD-FOAM MAKING FAUXHAWKED DICK.
3. Sam loves mayonnaise.
4. Truffle oil burger? Homemade chips? Yes, please.
5. The prospect of watermelons covered in gorgonzola and cream sauce sounds like something I would make up for a fake gourmet meal.
6. Elia sleeps naked.

10 Jan 2007

Hracneets!

Written by sally @ 10:27 am — Section: sally

A few months ago, whenever I’d see Jaxxie, she’d start telling me about this book she was reading, only what she said never made any sense: something about the Prince and Princess of Wales being dropped naked in New Jersey? And the adventures and insanity that followed? Rastafarians? Oscar Mayer Weinermobile? What? (more…)

9 Jan 2007

Give Me One More Chance to Make It Real.

Written by sally @ 12:16 pm — Section: sally

I mentioned before that I dismantled my junior high/high school scrapbook over Christmas, but what I failed to mention was that I apparently saved everything. I have a napkin (complete with Chee-to dust) from that one time I spied on a boy who worked at Subway, and a straw from that one time I went to the movies with so-and-so, and obviously that is ridiculous. Goodbye, Chee-to dusted Subway napkin from 1989! Farethewell, straw that I remember nothing about! I will not miss you. (more…)

8 Jan 2007

Nuguettes Pour Lundi.

Written by sally @ 3:33 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Topics: my movie star crock pot; MadLibs; the best cake OF ALL TIME, EVER. (more…)

7 Jan 2007

It’s in the Goodwill Pile Now.

Written by sally @ 6:15 pm — Section: sally

You have a dream you are going to a very exciting event. You dress, arrive at the event, and look down to find you are wearing a camel-colored J.Crew sweater your former mother-in-law gave you five Christmases ago. You are terribly embarrassed.

Next Page »