31 Mar 2006

Poetry Bonus Points!

Written by sally @ 4:32 pm — Section: Uncategorized

National Poetry Month begins tomorrow. Here’s something to get you in the mood:

There are plenty of references and allusions in my poetry — it’s really quite literary in some ways — but the reader is never required to pick up any of these references to gain admission into the little theater of the poem. If you pick them up you get bonus points, fifty extra Poetry Bonus Points, but if you don’t you still get full credit.

— Billy Collins

30 Mar 2006

Nuggets: Nonsense, TV, More Nonsense.

Written by sally @ 1:30 pm — Section: sally

(more…)

29 Mar 2006

Since the World Was a World.

Written by sally @ 2:51 pm — Section: sally

So I was reading today about this woman, who has a near-perfect memory. When I say “near-perfect,” I mean, ask her what happened on May 2, 1987 and she will tell you what day of the week it was, what news stories happened that day, what she ate for dinner and watched on tv, etc. That is at once a gift and a burden.

It reminded me of the Jorge Luis Borges story “Funes, the Memorious.” From the story:

We, in a glance, perceive three wine glasses on the table; Funes saw all the shoots, clusters, and grapes of the vine. He remembered the shapes of the clouds in the south at dawn on the 30th of April of 1882, and he could compare them in his recollection with the marbled grain in the design of a leather-bound book which he had seen only once, and with the lines in the spray which an oar raised in the Rio Negro on the eve of the battle of the Quebracho. These recollections were not simple; each visual image was linked to muscular sensations, thermal sensations, etc. He could reconstruct all his dreams, all his fancies. Two or three times he had reconstructed an entire day. He told me: I have more memories in myself alone than all men have had since the world was a world. And again: My dreams are like your vigils. And again, toward dawn: My memory, sir, is like a garbage disposal.

27 Mar 2006

Ted, Plus Kathleen, Equals Love.

Written by sally @ 3:04 pm — Section: sally

This afternoon I have been wiling away the hours by Googling my ex-husband’s new wife. I know. From what I can tell, she is very cute and extremely, painfully smart. I keep examining her face looking for the evidence that she is insane. (more…)

26 Mar 2006

Weekend Tally.

Written by sally @ 6:47 am — Section: sally

Eleven Things I Did This Weekend
A List by Sally J. Nordan

1. Ate chicken fingers with my mother.
2. Ate fried chicken and ribs with my mother.
3. Sent a Suburban-load of unwanted furniture and junk home with my mother.
4. Ate sushi with Larry.
5. Played Trivial Pursuit with Larry.
6. Lost Trivial Pursuit to Larry.
7. Found note in Trivial Pursuit box:

TRIVIAL PURSUIT TALLY
3/25/97 gclark wins.
3/28/97 Sally wins.
3/28/97 gclark wins (2).
6/22/97 gclark wins.
7/22/97 gclark wins.

8. Cursed gclark.
9. Started reading Graham Greene’s The Heart of the Matter.
10. Swooned over this week’s “Building Stories.”
11. Tried to ignore The Sopranos by taking a bath while it was on, but kept having to ask Larry, who’s talking? is that Silvio?

25 Mar 2006

Saturday.

Written by sally @ 4:23 pm — Section: sally

Spotted at grocery store:

SEWPROP

A theater person? Or a devotee of soap-on-a-rope who cannot spell?

24 Mar 2006

Friday Favorites.

Written by sally @ 11:23 am — Section: sally

Favorite thing I ate all week: Not that tortellini that tasted metallic. Larry’s birthday cake, I guess. And a cherry Laffy Taffy rope.

Favorite thing on television: America’s Next Top Model made me laugh and laugh. People falling down is universally funny, even when they’re doing it on purpose. They should make people fall off of ledges for their photo shoots EVERY WEEK. And then at the end, with the intense platform shoes, and the baby toe… oh, how I laughed. Larry was experiencing excrutiating empathy pains during this scene, by the way, clutching his cast as the models wobbled and hit the floor.

Favorite news story: the preacher who is protesting military funerals because — and this is beyond illogical — the soldiers died defending a country that accepts homosexuality. He might as well protest Frito-Lay because we all know that the gays, they love the Chee-tos.

Favorite conversation: Gorjus was trying to argue that he didn’t need to wash his towels very often. I pointed out that he wipes his towel around his nether region and then the next day rubs the towel all over his face. Gross. He said, But I’m clean. I then asked him if he would wear a pair of underwear* for a few minutes and then take it off and rub the underwear* all over his face. Huh. I didn’t think so.

Favorite thing I read: In between actually working, I’ve been pretending to do research and instead been reading Dorothy Parker poems. Oh, National Poetry Month, you are just around the corner!

Favorite dream: Larry and I go to Paris, walk around for a bit, then go to the mall, where we get coffee and see most of the girls from America’s Next Top Model. And Gorjus. I asked Gorjus where he was staying and he said, rather offhandedly, “Oh, I’m staying in Alsace.” I just looked it up, and Alsace is 310 miles from Paris. What a commute!

*Pee pants.

23 Mar 2006

ME V. THE SLIPCOVER OMG.

Written by sally @ 7:25 pm — Section: sally

Nothing really of import happened today, except that I have had the hiccups* for going on three hours now, and I just got really pissed off at the couch, the slipcover, and the slipcover company for going to the trouble of putting directional tags on the inside of the slipcover (back, left arm, etc) only to discover that the left and right tags are to be read FROM THE COUCH’S POINT OF VIEW.

I’m just wondering what situation you’d have to be in to be sitting on a couch as you’re putting the slipcover on, and to therefore understand that “left arm” doesn’t mean the arm of the couch on the left, but the arm of the couch ON THE COUCH’S LEFT OH MY GOD.

*Also spelled hiccoughs.

22 Mar 2006

Wimoweh.

Written by sally @ 1:41 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Y’all should go read this story about the evolution of the song “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” — from African megahit “Mbube” to the doo-wop song you hopefully all know, unless you are too young for such things. If that’s the case, you should listen to the oldies station more often. There’s also an audio dealie where you can hear the original and four other versions.

Specifico!

Written by sally @ 11:23 am — Section: sally

Specifico; Or, A Lack of Communication
A Play in One Act
(more…)

21 Mar 2006

“I Think I Just Got Diabetes.”

Written by sally @ 1:22 pm — Section: sally

Last night Gorjus, Herman, Jaxxie, Jaysus, and Bobby Sunshine came over to celebrate Larry’s birthday and sprained ankle in style. Well, ok, we just celebrated his birthday. (more…)

20 Mar 2006

Larry Ferrari is 32!

Written by sally @ 6:48 am — Section: sally

Today marks the birth of Larry Ferrari, who, 32 years ago today, entered the world with a pug nose, a head full of hair, and an attitude.

(Larry has never forgiven his parents for propping up his chubby little baby arms for this photo. Personally, I’d be more upset about the punk rock hairdo — spiky on top, long in front — if I were him.)

Happy birthday, Larry!

19 Mar 2006

Pete’s Sunday.

Written by sally @ 7:41 pm — Section: Uncategorized

17 Mar 2006

“I love you and think of our lives in a real and prideful way.”

Written by sally @ 7:37 am — Section: Uncategorized

I was going to post a thing about the Eudora Welty biography (I started skimming for good parts and ended up reading the whole thing), how EW’s naivete in regards to her love life irritates me — it irritates me on a girl level, not a revered author level; I’m mad at her on behalf of girls everywhere — and how painful it was to read letters she wrote John Robinson, with whom she was in love for years, because they sounded exactly like the same bullshit we have all said or written to unworthy boys ourselves. It just sucked. I wish I’d known her and could’ve said, Eudora, he’s just not that into you. There were plenty of men who found her attractive and charming and hilarious and were throwing themselves at her at parties. But she clung to the dream instead of coming to terms with her reality and that makes me want to choke her. Perhaps that makes me unromantic.

But then I decided not to write about that after all.

16 Mar 2006

Thursday Wisteria.

Written by sally @ 8:21 am — Section: Uncategorized

Everything is blooming in Belhaven right now.

In unrelated news, I am pleased to report that there was no role playing yesterday in supervisor class. And besides the intense candy-eating, apparently we are all such good friends that people were not at all afraid to burp. A lot. All day long. I don’t know how the woman next to me kept it in the first two days.

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