30 Nov 2005

Jerry Robertson: Sultan of Love.

Written by sally @ 10:51 am — Section: sally

I was looking for information on some dude (this is, in essence, what I do for a living) and I came across the birth, marriage, and divorce records for some other dude who has the same name as the first dude. And dude was busy! Pay close attention to the dates here. (more…)

28 Nov 2005

STPD PLTS.

Written by sally @ 2:37 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Recent license plates:

DNAGENE
LVLYLDY
4SIDPOO
DRKLADY
SIXNINE

With the exception of 4SIDPOO (?), this is quite obviously the best batch of plates of all time.

Thanksgiving: A Photo Essay.

Written by sally @ 7:54 am — Section: sally

I’m out of pocket again today, but here’re some pictures that describe my Thanksgiving: (more…)

23 Nov 2005

Dear MSRPCBBI.

Written by sally @ 11:04 am — Section: sally

Dear Martha Stewart’s Recipe for Pumpkin Cookies with Brown-Butter Icing:

WTF? (more…)

22 Nov 2005

Oscar the 17-Pound Dream Baby.

Written by sally @ 11:09 am — Section: sally

Is there anything more boring than hearing about someone’s dreams? No? I didn’t think so.

Last night in my dream I went to the hospital to visit the Floon twins and ended up having a baby myself. Yeah, I was apparently 9 months pregnant and didn’t notice. Which is especially odd because my baby was 17 pounds. I named him Oscar. The baby looked really familiar and this morning I realized that he wasn’t my baby after all.

He was Finslippy’s son, Henry.

Again I must ask: is it worse to dream about blog people or soap opera people? Both are clearly pathetic. But which is worse?

20 Nov 2005

Strange Fruit…but not the Billie Holliday Kind.

Written by sally @ 10:47 pm — Section: sally

This weekend included the following elements: standing by, amused, as Larry ate durian for the first time and confirmed what he’d heard about them smelling like rotten flesh and tasting just the same; cleaning the house with a methamphetamine-like fervor in preparation for our Thanksgiving guests next week; finishing a great, satisfying, amazingly researched book. (more…)

19 Nov 2005

This Week in Television.

Written by sally @ 2:37 pm — Section: sally

Monday:
DeGrassi Junior High:

Kathleen is a control freak with an eating disorder. Also, Joey Jeremiah is cute.

Tuesday:
Gilmore Girls:
Rory and Lorelai make up! I am teary and happy! Then, suddenly, embarrassed that I am so teary and happy over fake people reuniting.

DeGrassi Junior High:
Joey Jeremiah’s band, Zit Remedy, makes a video.
Note: this episode is saved on the tivo if anyone wants to come over and watch it.

Wednesday:
Top Model:
Kim gets in trouble for talking bad about everyone and cries. The photo challenge was that all six girls cram their naked selves into a phone booth and then pose. My favorite Top Model moment ever: Lisa farts in the phone booth. And then…gets booted off, even though she takes beautiful pictures and Jayla, the insane elf, takes oogly ones.

Lost:
Snaw…choo…snaw…choo…then, someone gets murdered, and then someone else gets murdered! And then time catches up with itself, sort of, and the previews for next week look really good. The previews always look really good. The previews are the best part of this show.

Martha Apprentice:
Dumb. However, it is possible that I am in love with Marcela.

DeGrassi Junior High:
LD has leukemia, Kathleen’s boyfriend beats her up, and Michelle and BLT continue their illicit interracial romance.

Thursday:

DeGrassi Junior High:
In a get-well-soon video for LD, a fledgling rap group struggles through a “song” about how cool LD is. The members include 3 black guys and KATHLEEN. I guess she had to do something to boost her self-confidence after that whole anorexia and really bad boyfriend thing.

Survivor:
Just when I think, this show’s going straight into the toilet, something happens and the game totally changes! And the paranoid Georgian got booted off! And when he did he made a plaintive, guttural howl of discontent! It made Gary Hogeboom laugh! And me scream! Between Kathleen’s rap and Jamie’s howl, I have a full and complete television experience.

16 Nov 2005

I Got Some Splainin’ to Do.

Written by sally @ 7:56 am — Section: sally

I got home from work last night as the storm really started to pour down, made dinner and a cake (gorjus: it’s that pear cake you like), and was about to sit down and eat when I stepped in something on the living room rug. (more…)

15 Nov 2005

Playing Catch Up.

Written by sally @ 7:36 am — Section: sally

I’m out of the office again this week, but here are some things that, if I did have the time to talk to you, I would tell you about in detail: (more…)

10 Nov 2005

It’s Chocolate…It’s…Chocolate…It’s…Chocolatey.

Written by sally @ 8:16 am — Section: sally

I was unreasonably angry that Top Model was a rerun last week, but man. Last night’s episode was well worth the wait. (more…)

9 Nov 2005

Sex (Before Marriage).

Written by sally @ 2:07 pm — Section: sally

I have successfully avoided much further contact with the insane Jon Donne, but he replied today for the third or fourth time to the last message I sent him a few weeks ago, so I wrote him back and asked what was up. Here is his reply, which is so . . . something it makes me want to pull all my hair out:

I just started training for the marathon last Saturday to raise money for leukemia and lymphoma. I will send you my web site so you can keep track of my progress if you want. And the girl I was having sex (before marriage) with just emailed me. That’s about it right now.

I’m pretty sure I can never talk to him again. This person is 34 years old and used the term “sex (before marriage)” in all seriousness.

In related news, Sex (Before Marriage) is the name of my new band.

“I’m Just Going to Walk Away Now.”

Written by sally @ 1:43 pm — Section: sally

I met Patience for lunch today and as we were leaving, I ran into someone I knew. It was, by far, the most excruciatingly awkward encounter of my life. (more…)

8 Nov 2005

National Novel Writing Month!

Written by sally @ 5:48 pm — Section: Uncategorized

It’s not too late to participate in NaNoWriMo 2005. I just signed up. If you don’t finish, you can always justify it by saying you started late. Who’s with me?

“Hey Girlie,” Joey Jeremiah’s Neck, and El Sucko: A List.

Written by sally @ 1:52 pm — Section: sally

I’ve apparently lost the ability to write more than a paragraph about any given thing, so here’s yet another bulleted list of various tidbits, including a brief DL update. (more…)

7 Nov 2005

Catching Up.

Written by sally @ 1:40 pm — Section: sally

I’ve been out of the office (and out of town) the past few days, but I’m home for lunch and wanted to update, at least just to say hello. (more…)

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