30 Mar 2005

Reality Bites.

Written by sally @ 4:15 pm — Section: Uncategorized

Just a friendly reminder that tonight’s episode of America’s Next Top Model will feature a scabby-faced model with an affliction that may or may not be flesh-eating bacteria.
UPDATE! It was a bacterial infection, but not quite flesh-eating bacteria. The rumor was started by stupid Noelle, who ended up getting booted off the show anyway. Nelson: HA ha. (more…)

Password-Protected.

Written by sally @ 9:57 am — Section: sally

The story below is password-protected. This means you must enter the password before reading the story. If you enter the password, you can’t say you accidentally read the horrible medical story below and that I have scarred you for life. You have to type something in. I am no longer responsible.

Password: seven

Protected: Seven Pounds.

Written by sally @ 9:50 am — Section: sally

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

28 Mar 2005

Control Your Impulses!

Written by sally @ 11:06 am — Section: sally

Mrs. Floon recently had dinner at her friend Liz’s house. Liz has two children, both of whom are going to need therapy one day, but for different reasons. Little Mary is going to recall the following episode (stolen from an email from Mrs. Floon) in a breakthrough therapy session in 2025: (more…)

The Very Popular GOP Hottie.

Written by sally @ 8:28 am — Section: sally

I heard on the radio this morning that U.S. News and World Report claimed that Haley Barbour was in the running for president in 2008, that he had charmed the people of Mississippi, and that he was much like Jimmy Carter. (more…)

25 Mar 2005

It’s Official.

Written by sally @ 5:35 pm — Section: sally

The results are in, and it’s official! (more…)

Tiny Ass Needs the Drive-Thru.

Written by sally @ 2:44 pm — Section: sally

Remember the woman with the ass so tiny she requested a special chair so she wouldn’t get swallowed up in the normal-ass-sized chairs the rest of us use? I came back after picking up a mediocre $1 baked potato and mediocre $1 salad from Wendy’s the other day, and she saw the bag and said, It’s so embarrassing for me when I go to Wendy’s or any fast-food restaurant because I have to stand there and read the menu. I just never eat that kind of food. This was my cue to blush and say something like, oh, well, I don’t eat it very often, heh, urmmm… but instead, I told her that was what the drive-thru was for.

You know, not only would she not get any dirty looks for holding up the line, but she wouldn’t have to sit in those HUGE CHAIRS they have inside.

24 Mar 2005

Tuna Tartar.

Written by sally @ 8:49 am — Section: sally

Wherein I discuss last night’s very excellent episode of America’s Next Top Model. People: I took notes during the show. That is how good it was. (more…)

23 Mar 2005

Me versus the Dog Hair.

Written by sally @ 8:15 am — Section: sally

The dog hair in my house is out of control. Lulu Mae Barnes is shedding like you would not believe. Or maybe you would: when we first got the dog, Jaxxie told me that dogs were a great way for OCDers to have to relinquish control. I remember her saying, You know, things will be a little messier, you’ll never get all the dog hair up… Huh. She was right. (more…)

22 Mar 2005

Link It Up.

Written by sally @ 3:47 pm — Section: sally

Linkity links! (more…)

17 Mar 2005

Why I Love TiVo.

Written by sally @ 9:24 am — Section: sally

So I came home from work last night and immediately started watching television. (more…)

16 Mar 2005

The Dirty Book.

Written by sally @ 11:37 am — Section: sally

I’m still plodding through Hudson River Bracketed, and it is beginning to get on my nerves. For one thing, I was unprepared for how filthy the book is. (more…)

15 Mar 2005

Earth and Sky.

Written by sally @ 1:02 pm — Section: sally

When Larry and I went to Mexico last October, I thought things looked a little funny. (more…)

14 Mar 2005

Complications and the “Raw Flapper.”

Written by sally @ 9:05 am — Section: sally

This weekend I got a lot of things done and had adequate leisure time. This is a rare balance in a weekend, one I don’t usually accomplish: either I get a lot done or I’m a sloth. I went places and bought things, I took naps, I read books, I watched tv, I cleaned the house, I cooked dinner, etc etc. (more…)

Good Girl.

Written by sally @ 9:01 am — Section: sally

(more…)

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